Life with Mika

A Day in the Life

2012-02-01T21:01:00.000-08:00

Tom is a great traveler. I love the fact that in spite of being a lactose intolerant, germaphobe - he really immerses himself in the local culture.

It's festival season in Bali, a two day period when people believe that good and evil spirits inhabit the earth. Tom was able to visit a small village and capture some of the festivities.

The Simple Beauty of Life

2012-01-31T10:16:00.001-08:00

A few months ago we lost our beloved pug Tex, since then I've been at a loss for words. While I want to write something moving and profound, I'm really struggling to find words that do him justice.

In the meantime it seems appropriate to share these images from Tom, who is currently exploring Bali. His photos do a much better job of capturing what I cannot say - the fragile, beauty of life.

At the elephant sanctuary

The water temple

Balinese dancer

Locals with attitude

I wish I could master this look, have a feeling it would be very effective

On the Mall

2011-10-16T20:26:00.000-07:00

I'm currently in DC, which just may be one of the best "people watching" places in the world. Everyone should come here, regardless of their nationality. A city of museums, motorcades, monuments - it all happens here.

I'm sure Freud would have a field day with this one.

Everybody likes Abe, but back in the day he wasn't exactly Mr Popular. I think history will also be very kind to Obama.

Grand buildings and beautiful light.

Very exciting to be here when Martin Luther King's Memorial was dedicated. The city is full of old freedom fighters who lived to see the day.

There is something bittersweet about the beautiful, golden light of fall.

Tex Gets Wheels

2011-10-02T21:20:00.000-07:00

Unlikely Angels

2011-09-23T22:56:00.000-07:00

When Amber first moved into our neighborhood Tom freaked out, in his defense she was a bad ass looking dog. It didn’t take us long to figure out that she was a gentle giant, an oversized pitt bull cross with a heart of gold. Tom could never get her name right, always calling her Angel. After awhile I stopped correcting him, wondering if his subconscious was telling us something.

Amber didn’t have an easy life, spending her early years in and out of shelters before coming to live on our block. We were always worried about her, the house she lived in was in shocking disrepair and the police were frequent visitors. Eventually I came to realize that her family needed a special dog, and there was no mistaking her love and devotion.

Yesterday Amber passed away, leaving us with a profound since of sadness. Over the years I’ve learned so much from watching this sweet, gentle soul - who never gave up on her humans, loving unconditionally.

Like Amber, most of the angels who have touched our lives come in unlikely packages. Not to mention the fact that both of our pugs have crooked halos.

Rest in peace sweet girl.......

Grand Canyon

2011-09-05T20:42:00.000-07:00

Seventeen million years in the making, it truly is a Grand Canyon. There are some places that everyone should experience, places that humble you and make you think about your place in the universe. A few photos from our recent trip:

Tom really is the photographer in the family - amazed that he managed to capture these two ravens dancing over the canyon.

Another Tom photo, love this unusual shot of raven in flight.
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My iphoto of Hopi House.

Retro photo of me during my first visit to the Canyon.

Fast forward 25 years to our recent visit.

Adios Beautiful Sedona

2011-08-19T11:34:00.000-07:00

A few more photo's from our amazing Sedona Adventure.

This may just be my favourite iphoto ever!

I realize this would work better with a long flowing caftan / minus the flip flops, but you get what I'm feeling.

Amazing vistas.

Love the view from this old tree.

Sedona has churches - which to me is very strange. Is it really necessary to build a place of worship when God provided so many wonderful natural places?

L'Auberge

2011-08-19T06:58:00.000-07:00

Tom often accuses me of being a hotel snob, which is probably a fair assessment. In this day and age finding a great room is a no brainer, as long as you're willing to do the research - you should be able to have a great experience at any price range.

I've wanted to take Tom to Sedona for years, so our hotel really needed to be special. After going to all of my favorite internet sources I narrowed it down to two properties, Enchantment or L'Auberge. The comments on Trip Advisor convinced me that L'Auberge was exactly what I was looking for. Guest reviews for both properties were overwhelmingly positive, but what really impressed me about L'Auberge was the fact that the General Manager took time to respond to the few people who had a negative comment. It was obvious that they were listening to their guests and committed to providing the best possible experience.

We were not disappointed, L'Auberge was magical. Charming cottages in a stunning natural setting, but what makes this place so special is the staff. Every person who works there is lovely, and they're not faking it. You get the feeling that they really care about this place, and enjoy working here.

Thank you L'Auberge, we will most certainly be back.

We had a creekside cottage, which included a fireplace.

Great deck overlooking Oak Creek.

This is the first time we've ever had a private outdoor shower. Absolutely loved it! What a great idea, wish we had one at home.

A great place to read a book and take in the view.

Dinner is a bit of a splurge but well worth it. Many of the locals shared stories of celebrating life's milestones here. It's hard to imagine a more beautiful dining area, bathed in soft candlelight under a canopy of stars.

Cathedral Rock

2011-08-16T22:47:00.000-07:00

Different views of Cathedral Rock at Sunset.

Reflecting pool

Beautiful woman taking in the view.

Golden light on red rocks.

Stepping stones.

Sunset

Vortex Power

2011-08-15T19:00:00.000-07:00

Tom and I are in Sedona, one of the most beautiful places on the planet. So lovely that even Tom, who can be a little jaded, said this is what heaven must look like. Having just come from Vegas we thought it might be a good idea to seek redemption and spend our first day here looking for a vortex.

One of the first things you notice about the locals is they have their own unique vernacular. After hanging out at the local coffee shop, we quickly figured out that in order to fit in one should make liberal use of the word "energy". This is a no brainer for me, being an old hippie at heart, but for Tom it's a bit of a stretch. I'm trying to coach him, teaching him phrases like "I only do things that bring positive energy in my life", "awesome energy man", "you ok dude? -your energy seems a little low".

We finally get to the vortex and find another couple there, taking a few snap shots and doing their best to feel the vibe. They eventually leave in frustration, complaining that other than a twinge in their 6th chakra, they're just not feeling it. Once they leave, Tom and I are feeling less inhibited, and do our best to feel the love.

I am intrigued that all over the world, people leave stones at sacred sights.

Going with the stone theory I decided to see if I can channel the power. Yea, I know I look like a geek, but sun protection is important people.

Tom takes my advice and tries meditating by the stone wheel.

When that doesn't work, he turns into a whirling dervish.

Tom is determined to feel the energy, no matter what it takes.

Even though we weren't hit by lightning bolts, I suddenly realize that my bad knee is feeling better than it has in years. I'm thinking tomorrow we take a different approach, perhaps focus our breathing so that we can get past our mind chatter - and really feel what the universe is trying to tell us. Who knows, maybe I'll even ask one of the local shamans to help us in our quest.

Karma

2011-08-14T21:59:00.000-07:00

Our last day in Vegas and we woke up to a very light rain. Not sure what came over him, but my lovely husband blurted out "That's just great, why do they have to end their drought during our holiday"? As soon as Tom said it he felt horrible. Truth is Vegas was getting to us.

Even though we had a crazy weekend there, something about Vegas just didn't feel right. It was one of those holidays when you try to pretend that everything isn't over the top, that children aren't starving in the Sudan while you're stuffing your face at the all you can eat buffet, that people willingly spend a couple of c-notes to hear Celine Dion sing. No matter how you spin it, there is something weird about Vegas.

Our last night there turned into a cross between Hangover and Date Night. A few highlights:

The evening started out okay, just the two of us hanging out and chillin.

Loved the desert sky after the summer storm.

Enjoyed the bright lights of the strip.

Scored the best table in town for dinner.

Shortly after the show started, something went terribly wrong. Just as the fountain was at it's peak (maybe as tall as a three story building) a freak gust of wind blew the mountain of water directly onto the patio, and our heads, and clothes, filling our dinner plates. We (and my brand new dress) were seriously drenched, I'm not sure I've ever been that wet in my life, even while taking a bath. The Maitre De was horrified. He apologized profusely, and insisted this had never, ever happened before. Tom and I had a good laugh, after all - karma is a bitch.

Crap

2011-08-13T00:19:00.000-07:00

Today our Vegas adventure continues. Highlight for me was watching Tom play craps. Poor guy is so Canadian that he would end up apologizing to the table when he rolled craps on the come out. I guess it didn't help that I would say things like "baby needs a new pair of shoes" right before he threw the dice.

Hanging by the pool in the afternoon.

Why have we been going to Europe all these years, when we could have just gone to Vegas?

Looking like a test pattern.

The giant buddha at Tao.

Viva Las Vegas

2011-08-13T00:10:00.000-07:00

Bright neon lights, all that's missing is Elvis.

Lady Luck

2011-08-11T23:36:00.000-07:00

Shortly after hitting the strip, Tom made a $5 bet on a slot machine - and hit pay dirt!

Winning $547 and change, is this for real?

Yea Baby!

Vegas baby!

Vegas, Baby!

2011-08-11T23:30:00.000-07:00

Tom and I are in Las Vegas, which is kinda weird, as we don’t really see ourselves as Vegas people. Not to mention the fact that most people have the good sense to visit in the cooler months of fall / winter, avoiding the scorching heat of summer.

In spite of our hesitation, we started feeling the Vegas vibe when our plane landed. As soon as the wheels hit the tarmac we couldn’t help but notice the other passengers’ liberal use of baby, as in “yea baby”, “vegas baby”, “you know it baby”. Maybe Vegas wouldn’t be so bad after all.

The true Vegas test came when we checked into our hotel. Many of our friends advised us that when checking into a luxury hotel, there is an unspoken rule. All one has to do is casually slip the desk clerk a $20 - and voila - a swanky upgrade. This just didn’t seem right to us, both having worked in hotels in a previous life. What if we offended the desk clerk? What if our friends were having a little fun at our expense?

All day we had been arguing over which one of us would have to slip the tip, but as everyone knows paper beats rock, so Tom had to go for it. He casually handed the clerk his passport, with Andrew Jackson peaking out, and we were soon informed by the young man that the hotel would be more than happy to upgrade us to a beautiful suite - with a beautiful view of the strip, compliments of the hotel of course!

As they say in Vegas, we hit the jackpot, people. This may just be one of the coolest hotels we’ve ever stayed in.

The living room in our hotel.

Bedroom

Love the tub.

The view from room.

Pug Separation Anxiety

2011-08-10T20:03:00.000-07:00

PSA - Pug Separation Anxiety - hits Tom and I every time we have to leave Tex and Maggie at home. Our son Tyler and his girlfriend Jane will move in and take care of them, with the help of Jade, our fabulous dog walker / friend. A week with three of their favourite peeps, full of love, pug games and absolute mayhem. Not to mention the fact that we've left 12 pages of in-depth pug instructions. Still doesn't make leaving them any easier.

Birdland

2011-08-09T21:08:00.000-07:00

Today's photo comes from Tom, the real photographer in our family. Not only does he play the guitar but he takes a mean owl photo.

Summertime

2011-08-08T21:39:00.000-07:00

Nobody appreciates a sunny day like we do in the Pacific Northwest. Don't get me wrong, we don't mind a little rain, keeps things green and clean. It's just that we will never be jaded about a beautiful, summer day.

A glass of wine with friends on the patio is what I'm talking about.

Lush summer flowers.

Street banners.

View of Burrard bridge from Granville bridge.

Interesting reflections.

A Dogs Life

2011-08-07T20:59:00.000-07:00

Now that Tex and Maggie are 15 people often ask us for advice on how to raise an older dog. I have a standard answer, explaining that it takes a great deal of love, luck, prayers, a dedicated vet, and good dental hygiene. While all this is certainly true, it is much easier than explaining that in my heart I really believe they're still here because they know their humans still have so much to learn. As crazy as it sounds, my pugs have been two of my greatest teachers.

Today's iphotos, dogs in the hood:

My sweet Maggie, who was originally our neighbour's dog, before coming to live with us. Everyday we are so grateful for our beautiful girl.

My Tex - aka the Dali pug - a sweet, wise, old soul.

Like Paris and New York, Vancouver is a dog loving city. We met this wonderful bloke on our walk today.

A beautiful day in the park with your best friend, does life get any better?

Joy of Life

2011-08-06T22:14:00.000-07:00

Joy of life, finding beauty in the simple things.

Even though it's a cliche, a gorgeous sunset.

Yin and yang, life in balance.

Don't stop believing, stop in the name of love, stop and think about it.

Going for a ride and letting the wind blow through your hair.

The Market

2011-08-05T22:31:00.000-07:00

Living by Granville Island has changed the way we shop / eat. Gone are the weekly trips to the grocery store, now we buy what we need each day. Fresh, organic and local when possible.

Simple Things

2011-08-04T21:19:00.000-07:00

The beauty of an average day....

My lovely girl is always cheerful, even in the morning.

A glimpse of English Bay while walking home over the bridge.

Sun, glorious sun.

A modern take on Shakespeare in the Park. (Granville Island)

Living for the City

2011-08-03T21:24:00.000-07:00

I like living in the city. I am always amazed when friends and colleagues move to places like Calgary so they can afford a big house. No offense Calgary, but I would never leave Vancouver for your endless suburbs. I also believe in high density living, the world needs nature more than it needs another sprawling subdivision.

For years architects and anthropologists have been studying our moving from the front porch to the backyard - and the profound impact this has had on our society. It’s a theory that I find fascinating, and even though Tom and I aren’t spending our evenings hanging out on the veranda, we are very connected to our neighbors. When you live as close to your neighbors as we do - you learn to work things out, and take care of each other.

Vancouver is one of the great cities of the world, a rare combination of urban sophistication and nature. While living here, we’ve had raccoons, coyotes, otters, beavers and even a cougar wander through our hood.

Today’s photos, a glimpse of life in the city.

My morning commute.

Vancouver is often called the city of glass, which makes for many pretty reflections.

The olympic torch.

I love this giant rain drop, appropriate for a city that embraces the rain and all of our wonderful shades of blue and green.

The view from our office, looking down at the Marine building, a wonderful art deco building.

Project 365

2011-08-02T22:42:00.000-07:00

A few years ago my honey started something we like to refer to as Project 365, the intent being to take and post at least one photo every day of the year. He lasted all of 14 days before he moved on to bigger and better things.

Now that I’ve discovered the iphone I’ve decided to pick up where he left off. Just to be clear, I’m not and never will be the photographer Tom is. Nor am I a purist, I plan to use every cool filter and special effect I can find. My goal is to create a photo diary of my wonderful, wacky life. Who knows, maybe I’ll even convince Tom to make the odd guest appearance.

Today's photos from Spanish Banks:

Wheels Up

2011-08-01T21:57:00.000-07:00

I recently took a photo of this old car as it reminds of of my first set of wheels, an old Buick Wildcat. It was my grandfathers pick, his criteria being “you could drive into a brick wall and maybe not kill yourself”. I didn’t really appreciate it’s classic beauty at the time, not realizing the fenders provided a certain cool factor. Eventually I realized that if I was going to keep driving it I would probably need to start dating a mechanic, and if you’ve met Tom you know how that story ended (when we were dating we had to roll down the windows of his Ford Fiesta as it was literally smoking inside the car).

For years after the Wildcat I drove sensible cars, based on advice from the men in my life. At one point we bought a Mazda and logged over 240,000 miles on it, but truth is it was always more Tom’s car than mine. He loved pointing out to anyone who would listen that our little car had traveled the same distance as from the earth to the moon!

It wasn’t until I got Tex and Maggie that I gave myself permission to buy a convertible. Anyone who has ever loved a dog will tell you that they come in two models:

sensible dogs that ride firmly ensconced inside the car
dogs that have one mission in life, to hang as far out of the car as possible

It doesn’t take a brain surgeon to figure out that top heavy dogs, like bulldogs or pugs, probably shouldn’t be allowed to defy gravity at 70 miles an hour. Getting the convertible seemed like a good compromise, and the pugs got to feel the wind in their fur (with Born to be Wild playing in the background).

Tom recently took this great photo on the streets of Victoria, which we've agreed to not even show Tex and Maggie, lest they get ideas.

It's Complicated

2011-05-07T20:42:00.000-07:00

I love my mother, but truth is we’ve always had a tumultuous relationship. Someday I’m going to create a series of Mother’s Day cards for people like me, with verses like “Happy Mother’s Day - after years of therapy still thinking of you! “.

Philip Larkin probably said it best in the following poem:

This Be the Verse

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.

They may not mean to, but they do.

They fill you with the faults they had

And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn

By fools in old-style hats and coats,

Who half the time were soppy-stern

And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.

It deepens like a coastal shelf.

Get out as early as you can,

And don't have any kids yourself.

My grandmother used to say that if we are lucky, life gives us what we need, not what we want. Every time I look at my beautiful son and pugs I am reminded of those wise words. Having come from a long history of family drama and angst, having kids wasn’t really part of my life plan. I am so very thankful that the great spirit had other ideas for me.

Being a mother has been the most rewarding experience of my life, teaching me how to love without condition, live without fear, and giving me a deeper appreciation for my own mother.

In a strange way being a mother has allowed me to mother myself - and heal so many of those old wounds. Whenever I feel down or troubled by life, I pull out this old black and white photo of myself as a little girl, and I promise to always love and protect her.

Going to the Chapel

2011-04-29T20:49:00.000-07:00

Twenty seven years ago Tom brought me to Canada to meet his family. It only took me 24 hours to offend his Irish Catholic mother, Carmen, unfortunately Tom didn’t give me the Future Mother In Law manual explaining that in her world the Pope, Kennedys and the Royal Family were all sacred. In a very short period of time I somehow managed to diss all of them, prompting Carmen to have the obligatory “Do you really want to do this?” discussion with her son.

In spite of our rocky start, Carmen and I eventually built a loving relationship based on mutual respect. Somewhere along the way I came to appreciate the things that were important to her, even the Royals.

Tom’s brother Danny was to be married around the same time as Charles and Diana, and at one point his mother asked her granddaughter Katie if she was excited about attending her uncle’s upcoming wedding. Katie’s reply was “Not really, I’ll just stay home and watch it on TV.” - This is a story that Carmen loved to tell, again and again.

For what it’s worth, here are a few random thoughts about today’s Royal Wedding:

Even though Diana and Charles didn’t exactly have a fairy tale ending, they did pave the way for their sons to have a better and more authentic life. Because his parents knocked the Royals off their pedestal, William was able to marry a commoner, and has a much better understanding of the challenges ahead. I would like to think that Diana is looking down from heaven, smiling upon her beautiful boy.

Even though people have grudgingly accepted Camilla Parker Bowles, recent polls show that more than half of Brits think that William should be the next King instead of his father. Like Wallace Simpson and Yoko Ono - Camilla will always be known as the ‘chick that broke up the band’.

Fashionistas are already giving Fergie’s daughters Beatrice and Eugenie two thumbs down for their royal wedding attire. Come on, really people? Do I need to remind you that they’re at an age when they should be taking chances instead of playing it safe. Am I the only one who will admit to having Flock of Eagles hair in my youth? Wouldn’t life be boring if we all dressed and looked the same? Shouldn’t we be celebrating the fact that they seem to be normal teenagers, instead of Stepford princesses?

Someone recently asked me if I was offended that the Obamas weren’t invited to the wedding. Not at all. The wedding should be about William and Kate, and as much as I love Michelle and Barack their presence would have only distracted from that. Not to mention they needed to be home, attending to the southern states recently ravaged by tornadoes.

More than anything I hope William and Kate have a wonderful life. Let’s give them the space they need to do normal, couple things - like argue about who’s turn it is to walk the Corgis.

This is for you Katie, I hope you always remember how much Carmen loved you.

A Few Simple Truths

2011-01-03T11:22:00.000-08:00

2010 was huge for my little family - imagine a year scripted by Cecil B DeMille and you get the idea - it was epic. You would think all of this real life dramedy would have inspired me to write deep and insightful blogs, instead I found myself strangely silent. From my heart to you, a few simple truths I’ve learned along the way.

Trust Your Intuition

This past year I was sick, really sick. Truth is I knew something was terribly wrong for several years, unfortunately I was way too busy with life to listen to my intuition. In the future I promise to be less stoic, more open to what life is trying to tell me. Hopefully next time it won’t take a lightning bolt to get my attention.

It’s Not a Cliche

They’re not kidding when they tell you to put the oxygen mask on first. Take care of yourself so that you can take care of the people you love.

Make a Difference

I’ve been a blood donor for years, it wasn’t until I needed blood that I really understand how important it is. A simple act that saves lives, one of many things you can do to make a real difference. Figure out what is important to you and just do it.

Live in the Moment

Our pugs are the heart and soul of our family, each and everyday they teach us how to live a better life. They soften our hard edges. They’re older now and over the past few years there have been more than a few close calls. Perhaps their greatest gift has been to teach me how to be fully present, not focused on the past or future, grateful for each precious moment we have together.

Love the One You’re With

While I admit to be an old hippie at heart, it really does all come down to love. Without love we are nothing, it is the only true and lasting thing in this life. Don’t be afraid to love your family, friends, colleagues, this beautiful world. Love is the answer.

Feeling the Love in Germany

2010-10-11T14:45:00.000-07:00

I’m on the road this week, working from Germany and attending a conference of Travel Writers and Public Relation professionals. It’s my 4th visit to this beautiful country, and even though I’ve been lucky enough to hangout in its beer gardens, bond with the locals, boogie to the odd oom-pa-pa band - there has always been an element of Germany that I’m never really sure what to do with.

So much has happened here - it was only a few weeks ago that Germany finally payed off it’s World War 1 debt - imposed by the Treaty of Versailles - a financial obligation that was so massive, many historians credit it with opening the door to Hitler. I find all of this history fascinating, yet I’ve never had the courage to discuss it with my German friends. It’s kind of like traveling with an elephant - better to ignore than offend.

The conference is taking place in Saxony, even though I’ve never been to this area of Germany before it didn’t stop me from making assumptions....boy, was I ever wrong. I knew that the Allies had heavily bombed this area, destroying many of the cities. I came expecting to see the mammoth, concrete buildings that always seem to be a staple of Eastern Block countries. I had no idea how much time, effort and passion has gone into rebuilding and restoring. It is truly beautiful here.

More important, this place has touched my soul. The Berlin Wall only came down in 1989, which quite frankly wasn’t that long ago. The revolution started here, a small group of brave souls who brought down a regime without resorting to violence. In 21 years they have achieved amazing things - including a thriving economy.

I’ll be the first to admit that there are days when I worry about this world, wondering if we’ve already passed the tipping point. Being here reminds me that there is always hope, that it is always better to make love not war, and to never stop believing.

Lost in Translation

2010-06-08T00:53:00.000-07:00

Compared to most people, Tom and I don’t have a traditional marriage. We live in a condo without a white picket fence - it isn’t unusual for us to be working on separate continents - he's milk chocolate and Beatles - I’m dark chocolate and Stones. In other words, we don’t do Ward and June at our house.

While I would like to think that we’re special and unique, I’ve come to realize that we communicate like every other couple on the planet. Some things are universal. For example, he says exactly what he is thinking, while I have a more indirect approach. Tom recently admitted that it's taken him 25 years to realize that “whatever” actually means no.

Like most guys he likes to fix things, which means most of our discussions end with him giving me advice. Tonight while trying to explain that sometimes I just want him to listen, I realized that most men don’t even know what that looks like. In fact, I’m not even sure they have the necessary vocabulary for those kinds of conversations.

This gave me a brilliant idea, I should make a set of flash cards with phrases Tom can refer to during those times I really just want him to listen while I vent.

My list goes something like this:

hmmmmm

yes

wow

oh dear

and......

cool

really

how do you feel about that?

absolutely

Laugh if you will, but this could be big people.

It's All Fun and Games Until Somebody Loses an Eye

2010-05-28T21:47:00.000-07:00

Anyone who has read my blog will know that my husband is a real character. Truth is without him I'm not sure I would even have anything to blog about. Lately I've been thinking I should keep a list of some of the crazy lines that come out of his mouth. Like the time I heard him say to a police dispatcher "look I watch CSI and I can tell you right now that my scooter is at a chop shop in Surrey".

To make a long story short, one day Tom discovered his scooter was missing. After giving it some thought, he realized that there was a moving truck parked in our neighborhood the week before - which was actually a disguise for a band of thieves, who obviously stole his beloved scooter. Poor guy spent days on the phone filing police reports and insurance claims, getting very upset that more wasn't being done to recover it. For god sakes why wouldn't they just listen to him and send an undercover team out to raid those chop shops?

Four days later he walks to our neighborhood market and notices a scooter in the parking lot - upon closer inspection he sheepishly realizes it's his scooter! Seems he rode it there to buy flowers, got distracted and walked home. By the time he realized it was missing he had totally blacked out the whole shopping thing, assuming the scooter was already on the black market.

Good news is he did learn a few really important life lessons.

Lesson #1 - it is not an easy process to go back to the police and say it was all a big misunderstanding. Especially after declaring yourself a CSI expert and giving them tips on how they should be doing their jobs.

Lesson 2 - if you are going to take the easy way out and tell the neighbors that your son took it on a joy ride - or the police that your wife did a crazy thing and forgot that she left it at the market.....you should make damn sure you're out of earshot.

Amazing Things I've Seen

2010-04-23T11:01:00.000-07:00

Gita, a beautiful Miniature Schnauzer, is a regular patron of John & Zekes Bar (Healdsburg, CA).
Don't worry, she only sips out of a small glass of beer, every few days.....

Tom thought this was a great idea and for a moment had visions of bonding with Tex and Maggie in our local pub - problem is Maggie is more of a Cosmo girl.

We are Family

2010-02-04T19:51:00.000-08:00

Years ago, long before there was a Tom and Mika – my husband had a really strange breakup. It happened in Boston where he and the “girlfriend of the month” decided to go see a psychic (who are we kidding, she decided. Amazing the things men will do for women, if hard pressed they’ll see movies with subtitles, endure the odd spa treatment, etc.) During the session the sooth-sayer predicted that the girlfriend would have one child………(drum roll please)…….and Tom would have three. Needless to say this didn’t go over all that well and to this day Tom shudders when anyone mentions Beantown.

Fast forward 30 years – last night out of the blue and totally unsolicited Tom says” that lady in Boston was right, I did have three kids”. Love, love, love the fact that Tom considers Tex and Maggie his children. The thing is, families come in all shapes and sizes – the lovely gay couple who live next door have a beautiful daughter – many of us have step parents - and in our case we just happen to be part of Tex and Maggie’s pack.

Weekend in The Emerald City

2010-01-16T21:13:00.000-08:00

One of the hazards of living with a photographer, it's easy to stop snapping your view of the world. Just bought myself a simple point and shoot to play with, so.......

Nice to see a familiar face shopping for doggie treats in Seattle.

Okay, so it isn't the Eiffel Tower but it works for me.

Mexican food for lunch and dinner - does it get any better?

Seattle icons.

The Nap

2010-01-02T22:43:00.000-08:00

Coming Home

2009-12-29T15:46:00.000-08:00

A Tale of Two Pugs

2009-12-16T09:50:00.000-08:00

Today is a very important day, Tex and Maggie’s 13th birthday. Tom said it best when he informed both pugs that at this point in their lives, they can have any damn thing they want.

If you're a dog person you’ll understand that they’re the heart and soul of our family. Here are a few things about the pugs you should know:

Tex was the runt of the litter - when told he was a throw-away dog we immediately knew he was meant to be our boy.
A famous pet psychic once said that Tex was a lion in a previous life.
If I had a daughter I would want her to be just like Maggie - a free spirit, strong, independent, determined, generous, in touch with her feminine side.
Tex has always been a wise old soul, aka the Dali Pug.
Maggie’s faced turned white at a very early age, we like to think of her as the Spirit Pug of False Creek.
Maggie is a kisser and has been know to jump up and French kiss unsuspecting strangers who stop to pet her.
When the pugs were babies they meet a West Highland Terrier that nipped Maggie - from that day forward Tex and Maggie hate all Westies and insist they're the “real” axis of evil.
Tex went through a few dark years when we referred to him as the incredible humping machine and friends called our house the Love Shack.
Both pugs refuse to do tricks and have perfected the “you talking to me” look when encourage to roll over, shake hands or play dead. Safe to say they will never be circus dogs.
Tex is fixated on things that fly and has given us a new appreciation for birds.
Both pugs once slept through an earthquake - so much for the idea that animals predict natural disasters.
Tyler’s buddies used to come over to walk the dogs, who they refer to as the Babe Magnets.
Both pugs get very upset when seeing animals on TV and bluff charge the screen.
They howl like coyotes.
Have always slept with us - when we have family and friends staying with us it isn’t unusual for them to wake up next to a snoring pug.
We woke up one Christmas to find that Tex had opened all of the presents during the night.
They love pancakes, frozen yogurt and always get a few McDonald's fries after visiting the vets office.
Maggie loves snow and thinks she is Nanook of the North - Tex hates it.
Maggie is the easiest pug to give medicine to / Tex is by far the most difficult.

Letter to Tiger

2009-12-14T22:51:00.000-08:00

Dear Tiger,

Writing this letter is surreal, something I never thought I would do. I woke up this morning looking for news of the Copenhagen Climate Summit and was dismayed to find all of the major networks doing a non-stop Tiger marathon. I had an epiphany - the real story is less about you and more about our need for dirty laundry.

Perhaps it’s easier to focus on fallen celebrities as it allows us to avoid thinking about the real issues of our day - war, climate change, and the fact that we are living in an era that Scientist now refer to as the “sixth mass extinction”.

Tiger, I have no idea what your life is like and truth is I’m not even a golf fan - but considering everything we’ve put you through, I feel it is only right to offer a few words of advice.

You’ve spent your life learning how to be a great golfer, this is your chance to look inside and become a great man. None of us are without sin, the real test of character is how we choose to deal with these defining moments.

One doesn’t have to be a psychiatrist to see that you’re looking for something. Truth is your beautiful wife, kids and numerous girlfriends will never be enough to fill that void - it can only come from within. Learn to be alone and at peace with yourself and you will be a better husband and father.

all the best,

Mika

The Con Artist

2009-11-29T22:21:00.000-08:00

I pride myself on being street smart, way too savvy to fall for the latest con or be anybody's bitch - which makes the story I’m about to share with you all the more embarrassing.

It happened several years ago as I was walking home from work, one of those beautiful summer days that seemed to attract all of the out of town tourists. A young man stopped me on the sidewalk, asking for directions. He was from the UK, and as part of his graduation gift his grandparents had given him a trip to beautiful British Columbia. He said it had been a wonderful journey, except for the fact that he had somehow confused his departure date, missing his flight home. Like most young travelers he had spent almost all of his money and was trying to figure out how he was going to find the means to get to the airport - and pay the required penalty for having to reschedule his flight.

I admit, there was a part of me that wondered if he was scamming me – but like most things in life timing is everything. My son Tyler had just returned home from his grand adventure – 6 months exploring South East Asia with a group of friends. While in Cambodia he was swarmed by a group of children, who somehow managed to take his ATM card, credit cards and money. Even though the majority of people living in Cambodia are very poor, they gave new meaning to that old adage “if not for the kindness of strangers”. The good people of a small Cambodian village came to my baby boy's rescue, providing him with food, shelter and even loaning him money to hold him over until Tom and I could help sort things out. Considering everything we had been through, is it any surprise that I had sucker written across my forehead?

The young man and I went to my bank, where I took out $100. When I gave him the money he started to cry real tears. He seemed to be genuinely touched and even asked me why I was being so generous with a total stranger. I explained that he was the same age as my Tyler, and rambled on about the importance of karma and returning good deeds.

Of course when I got home and told Tyler and Tom my story, their immediate reaction was utter disbelief. Months passed and I never heard anything from the young man, who had insisted on taking my business card and promised to pay back every penny.

Fast forward to last week - a middle age man stops me on the street to ask directions – different details but the same routine. Reality check, I finally had to admit that the young man probably conned me.

I've had a few days to think about it and strange as it may seem, I’m okay with it. In hindsight I'm not sure I would do anything different. I still believe in helping strangers.......sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith and trust people.

Pug Diaries

2009-11-17T21:13:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure what we would do without Jade, a larger than life character who enriches our lives in so many ways. In her younger days she was a stripper who dated rock stars, and still has something of a fan base (one of the reasons she refuses to let me post her photo and prefers to remain incognito).

Fortunately for us she was looking for a career change and now helps us keep our lives in order. Not only does she clean and organize, but she's also one of the few people we trust with the pugs. When Tom and I are working she walks the dogs, spending quality with them while watching her programs. As a result Maggie is totally addicted to Coronation Street and Tex often quotes Dr. Phil.

One of the highlights of my day is coming home and reading the little notes Jade leaves, snapshots of the day-to-day life of urban pugs. For example, today's note:

Wow! The howling started as soon as I picked up the can opener. Hilarious.

6:00 - 6:02: Supper

6:02 - 6:30 Walk, poo and pee

6:30 - 7:00 Tex's grooming of Maggie

7:00 - 8:00 - Indulgent napping and cuddles

Thanks Jade, you make our lives so much better.

Sacred Bears

2009-10-20T09:26:00.000-07:00

Tom recently captured these amazing images of a mother grizzly and her white cub. Not only is a white grizzly incredibly rare, but also considered to be a spiritual symbol by aboriginal tribes. Looking at this little guy you can see why his presence is considered a blessing.

Peace Out

2009-10-16T19:59:00.000-07:00

I've recently stumbled upon an interesting new trend. Over the past few years, while staying at hotels in Miami, Guadalajara, London, DC, NY and LA, everyone from bellboys to housekeeping staff have proudly told me that "Obama stayed here". Barrack must be racking up some serious air-miles.

Even though I'm a big Obama fan, I personally think his recent Nobel Peace Prize says more about the Bush years than Barrack's universal appeal. Truth is the world felt bullied by the Bush administration, weary of it's "my way or the highway" attitude. Obama's diplomacy, willingness to listen, eloquence, and understanding that partnership and cooperation are essential to the survival of this planet, is such a departure from the Dubya years - allowing Obama to pick up some serious bling.

Cat or Dog?

2009-08-20T18:52:00.000-07:00

My friend Carol is one of the best communicators I know. One of those people who can get to the crux of the matter in a few simple, eloquent sentences. So much so, that my secret nickname for her is the Oracle. I can't tell you how many times we've been in a meeting, when I've been tempted to say "yea, what she said".

Today she informed me that people are either like cats or dogs, explaining that her daughter just happens to be a cat person. Why didn't this occur to me before? What a wonderful way to look at life. Once you figure out if someone is cat or dog - you pretty much know everything you need to know.

Today I've been thinking of my family and friends, even imagining specific breeds in some cases. Here's what I'm thinking:

Tom - dog person (granted he's not trained - bad dog Tom!)

Tyler - a strange mix of cat and dog. Social like a dog, independent like a cat.

Josie and Chris - even though their nicknames are big cat / middle cat, don't let them fool you. They profess to be cats, but they're actually dogs, put on this earth to serve the needs of the little cat.

Rock On

2009-08-13T19:40:00.000-07:00

This week marks the 4oth anniversary of Woodstock - an event that has come to symbolize the 60's for many of us. For some reason, this has left me with an urge to pick up the phone and call my son in Thailand - but how does one describe the importance of the decade of peace, love and great music?

My beautiful child has no fear. A true explorer, who's embraced the challenge of moving to Asia and learning a new culture and language. Lucky boy - he's always lived in a world where he has the freedom to do his own thing - where his options are not limited by his gender, faith or sexual orientation.

I want him to understand and appreciate those who paved the way. A brave generation that raged against the machine, questioned authority, and opened the door to a world of possibilities.

Peace.

Tom Unplugged

2009-08-12T23:46:00.000-07:00

Poor Tom - somebody should have told him that unlike Vegas - what happens in Maui doesn't always stay in Maui. A behind the scenes look at Tom unplugged.

Maui

2009-08-10T18:09:00.000-07:00

We truly loved our time in Maui, including our time at the beautiful Fairmont resort. Here are a few highlights.

House of the Sun

2009-08-07T00:48:00.000-07:00

Okay, so the audition for Animal Planet didn't exactly pan out. I'm thinking with a little creative editing on my end - Tom might do better hosting a travel show. Surely there's a need for good content targeting off beat, germaphobic men who are lactose intolerant?

Enjoy the view from Haleakala, House of the Sun.

The Road to Hana

2009-08-06T00:29:00.000-07:00

Kauai is usually my island of choice - one reason I really wanted to come to Maui this time, was the road to Hana. Rated as one of the most beautiful drives in the world, it doesn't disappoint.

The Quest

2009-08-04T02:14:00.000-07:00

Tom has always said I can plan a holiday around food - guilty as charged. One thing I know for sure (sorry Oprah), the worlds best eats are often found in the most unlikely places.

Talk to the Animals

2009-08-04T01:43:00.000-07:00

My honey, he's one with nature. Since we're on Maui, we thought this might be a good time to make an audition tape for Animal Planet. Enjoy!

The Truth Will Set Us Free

2009-07-22T18:48:00.000-07:00

Tom recently bought a t-shirt that says "F*#k you, you F@#king F^#k - which basically sums up his philosophy on life.

Even though I refuse to go anywhere with him while he's wearing his new mantra, I'm starting to think he's on to something. Tom goes through life expressing himself - while I tend to internalize. Even though my approach means I'm likely to have more Facebook buddies - Tom will probably live to be a 100. Having the courage to say what you really think seems to be a cathartic experience.

Since most of us aren't as brave as Tom, I'm thinking it might be a good idea to create free speech zones. In Japan, it's an unspoken rule that anything you say to your boss while under the influence doesn't count. Considering the fact that going out and drinking after work is a big part of their culture, therapy is as cheap as the price of a beer.

Maybe we should give every man, woman and child one day every year to shoot from the hip. Not only would it make them feel really good, it could also have a positive effect on society. Think about it - crime rates would plummet, high blood pressure would no longer be a health issue, and we'd all feel a hell of a lot better about life.

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

2009-07-21T21:24:00.000-07:00

I've always been a huge fan of Julia Child, so I'm really happy to see a new generation of wanna-be chefs discovering her.

I love Julia so much that I've always had her on the invite list for my BADP (bad ass dinner party). You know the routine, the game you play when you've had a few drinks and list all of the people (dead or alive), who you'd like to invite over for an evening of good food, wine, and conversation.

I adored everything about Julia - her height, elocution, love of butter, and the fact that she was a bit of a klutz. Who can forget the time she dropped a whole chicken on the floor while filming her cooking show - picked it up, dusted it off, and kept right on cooking. Not sure about you, but this is something I can relate to.

Perhaps that's why she was so interesting. Most of us are never going to master Martha Stewart's scary, Stepford wife, perfection - but Julia Child..... someone we can all aspire to.

The Getty

2009-07-10T18:05:00.000-07:00

The following video is of the Getty, a must do when in LA.

Shout out to Gloria - Thelma to my Louise - smart, funny and CWT (cool without trying).

Yea Baby

2009-07-08T20:20:00.000-07:00

Now that's what I'm talking about - Pugs not drugs. It's no secret that if pugs were in charge, the world would be a much better place.

Thanks to Ann for this great photo, taken from the mean streets of New York.

Mystery Tree

2009-07-03T18:25:00.000-07:00

I just came back from LA, which is beautiful this time of year. Many flowering trees are in bloom, including the Jacaranda, Palmetto, Mimosa and a mystery tree.

My dear friend Monica was also intrigued with the beautiful creature, it's branches heavy with clusters of beautiful, pink flowers. The following video is of Monica, at the Canadian Consulates House, with the unidentified tree.

I adore Monica, an amazing woman who has lived life large. She speaks at least four languages that I know of, grew up in the West Indies where her grandfather was the Governor General, went to a boarding school in Switzerland, dated Peter Jennings, worked as a model, lived in Spain, Germany, Canada and a loft in Soho, has a unique and fabulous style, and is one of the most spiritual people I know.

Both Monica and I think that if anyone can identify the tree, it will be our friend Steve (another larger than life personality, but that's another story).

Dancing Queen

2009-06-25T22:05:00.000-07:00

My honey just happens to be a one dance wonder. Even though he only has one dance in his repertore, he always rocks it.

Annie

2009-06-23T19:26:00.000-07:00

Our neighborhood is mourning Annie, a sweet little Yorkie who recently passed away. Like many tiny dogs, she had a really big personality - and very fancy hairdo. Annie had the canine equivalent of a Napoleon complex. Everyone adored her.

Annie’s person (note to people who don’t have dogs, most of your neighbors will never know your name, always referring to you as Rover's mom or dad) is a lovely older woman, who lives a wonderful, full life. Several years ago, after being diagnosed with cancer, she confided in me that she wasn’t going anywhere, as Annie needed her. I’m so happy that she was able to hang in there, holding her little friend peacefully in her arms as Annie passed from this earth.

All of this talk of death has my family debating what will happen to us when our time comes. Not to sound like a Drama Queen, but I want to be cremated, and have my ashes scattered with Tex and Maggie's ashes someday. Our son Tyler agrees that cremation is the only way to go.

Thing is, even though my husband Tom is not very religious (anymore), he still carries around the baggage that comes with growing up in the Catholic church, he still feels that burial is the only option. Our good friend Josie has assured him that the church has loosened it’s rules, allowing cremation under certain conditions. Truth is, Tom isn’t really sure why the church of his childhood banned cremation in the first place, and on one level he just feels it’s better to, you know, Cover Your Ass...... just in case.

Tom's thinking reminds me of the Jesuits who said "Give me the child, and I’ll have the man for life."

Some things just never leave us.

Troubled Times

2009-06-18T21:05:00.000-07:00

While walking the dogs this evening, we were so happy to see around 30 geese, an assortment of adults and gangly teenagers. You see, over the past few years our little hood has been divided over these beautiful birds. The community seems to be split into two groups - those who see them as pests - and those of us who feel they have every right to thrive.

Over the years the anti- geese brigade has employed a variety of tactics. One year they went around shaking eggs, in an attempt to kill the embryos. Last year things finally came to a head, when an early morning jogger came upon a few parks board employees, who were taking the little goslings from their parents and stuffing them into bags. Apparently they planned to take them into the country, with the hope they would be adopted by other geese families. Let's just say there was a big revolt, which was covered by our local news stations for several weeks.

We are living in an era that scientists refer to as the 6th extinction. This time we can't blame it on an asteroid or ice age, seems humans are the cause of this latest annihilation. Scientist predict that over 50 percent of earth's species will disappear in the next 100 years, forever altering life on this planet. Shouldn't we be celebrating those species, that in spite of our best efforts, thrive in our urban jungles?

In honour of all creatures, here is one of my favorite poems:

Little Citizen, Little Survivor

Hayden Carruth

A brown rat has taken up residence with me.

A little brown rat with pinkish ears and lovely

almond-shaped eyes. He and his wife live

in the woodpile by my back door, and they are

so equal I cannot tell which is which when they

poke their noses out of the crevices among

the stacks of firewood and then venture farther

in search of sunflower seeds spilled from the feeder.

I can't tell you my friend how glad I am to see them.

I haven't seen a fox in years, or a mink, or

a fisher cat, or an eagle, or a porcupine, I haven't

seen any of my old company in the woods

and the fields, we who used to live in such

close affection and admiration. Well, I remember

when the coons would tap on my window, when

the ravens would speak to me from the edge of their

little precipice. Where are they now? Everyone knows.

Gone. Scattered in this terrible dispersal. But at least

the brown rat that most people so revile and fear

and castigate has brought his wife to live with me

again. Welcome, little citizen, little survivor.

Lend me your presence, and I will lend you mine.

Romance

2009-06-16T21:02:00.000-07:00

I recently had a discussion on romance with a group of friends. I’m not a girl who is easily impressed by the usual cliche's; flowers and candy on Valentine’s Day just don’t do it for me. Here’s the story of one of the most romantic things Tom has ever done.

I blame the whole thing on Nina, my BFF, who called me one day to elicit my help in rescuing a poor, down trodden pug. In hindsight, I’m not even sure how Nina got involved in the whole thing, let’s just say she’s a cat person at heart. Not to mention that once she reeled me in, she was nowhere to be found (knowing Nina, she was most likely enjoying a fabulous meal in a chic sidewalk café, flirting with a handsome waiter named Raul.)

The long and the short of it goes something like this - Bobby belonged to a young woman who was moving out of the country asap - she desperately needed to find him a new home. It soon became apparent that while she may have had good intentions, Bobby had lived something of a hard life. He spent 90% of his time in a crate that was way too small for him, and when he was fed, it was usually either a happy meal or slice of pizza. Worst of all, the young woman had a biker boyfriend who liked to get rough with little dogs. Guess it made him feel like more of a man. As a result, Bobby had lost most of his hearing, due to the fact that he was repeatedly hit upside of the head.

I took one look at poor little Bobby’s sweet pug face, and took him home with me. The problem was all of this happened in a matter of 24 hours, while Tom just happened to be in the backwoods of BC, well out of cell phone range. Poor Tom...... for years he's been roped into my numerous animal rescues, often having to drop everything in order to drive a wounded bird to the closest wildlife rescue centre. This time I had a funny feeling that coming home and finding a new dog sleeping on his side of the bed, might not be Tom's idea of a good time.

To make matters worse, a few days after Bobby moved in with us, the biker boyfriend called and threatened to take the pug away if I didn’t give him $500. Seems the reason they were making a quick exit is the boyfriend was going to court - where the most likely outcome was an extended holiday in the big house - hence the plan to leave Canada on the first red eye. Once they realized they didn’t have enough money to get the hell out of dodge, boyfriend started making the rounds, trying to come up with extra cash.

Tom came home to a hysterical wife, extra pug, and a scary biker dude leaving cryptic messages on our home answering machine. Instead of getting mad, he hugged me and assured me that everything would be okay – he would take care of the biker dude – as long as I promised to find Bobby a good home - pointing out that this wasn't an episode of 101 Pugs.

Tom ended up driving his scooter (no kidding) to a tough biker bar on the wrong side of town, paying the pug ransom, and making tough guy sign an agreement that he would never contact us again. Thankfully it was the last we heard of him, as I imagine that kind of contract might be a just little difficult to enforce.

It doesn’t end there………it soon became apparent to Tom that I wasn’t really trying to find Bobby a good home. What can I say, I really fell in love with the little guy. So on top of everything else Tom was the one who ended up finding Bobby a forever home, where he lives with another pug, two little girls, and has birthday parties and Christmas presents.

Now that's what I call romance.

Pug Flick

2009-06-04T22:21:00.000-07:00

This is for the pugs - things we saw in Florida that they'll find groovy. No barking guys!

Tommy Does South Beach

2009-05-30T11:03:00.000-07:00

As you may have noticed, I've decided to try video blogging during my Florida adventure.

Thing is, Tom thinks I'm a really bad commentator, and decided to take over the shooting / talking duties. Best line of the day was when Tom said "Keep the camera on me damn it, I'm the presenter!" Guess you can tell he's been working with film crews waaay too long.

Funny thing is, Tom doesn't know how to edit, which means I'm still able to put my stamp on the final product.

Notice the gorgeous Latino hunk at the end of this video? That's for the chicas back home.

The Keys

2009-05-29T05:03:00.000-07:00

Hemmingway's Six Toed Cats

2009-05-27T21:00:00.000-07:00

SOS

2009-05-27T19:34:00.000-07:00

Anyone who has met my Tom will tell you that he's a big personality. Not only is he a big presence, but several years ago we noticed that he also had a strange effect on our electrical appliances. I know this is going to sound strange, but when Tom is around, our computers crash, light bulbs blow, the stereo and TV will suddenly start playing. It's sort of like living with a force of nature. I realize that if your reading this you're probably starting to question my sanity - but strange as this all might sound, there are several scientific studies dedicated to studying people who wreak havoc on electro-magnetic fields.

Tom and I are currently in Key West, and while we are having a grand old time, things have been just a little strange with my honey. For starters, Tom seems to have lost all sense of direction - very strange considering he constantly likes to remind us that he is the human equivalent of a homing pigeon. To put things into perspective, Key West is a tiny, tiny island, with the streets laid out in a basic grid - you don't exactly have to be a brain surgeon to get from A to B.

Things started getting really freaky when we noticed that everyone Tom talked to couldn't quite make direct eye contact with him. One of the things I love about travelling with Tom, is the way he connects with the locals. But this trip has been different, and kind of surreal; it goes something like this - Tom talks to a local personality - who in turn carries on a long conversation with him - but looks into MY eyes the whole time.

In Key West, this has happened over, and over, and over. Which means when Tom is talking to the locals about mundane topics like sports, or the weather, or Cuba, I can't zone the conversation out, I have to make all the appropriate facial expressions, acting as if I'm keenly interested in the topic, but rarely saying a word. Down here, I'm kind of acting like a transmitter between the locals, and my husband.

Tom also noticed this strange behaviour from the locals, and we just couldn't figure it out - but this evening it finally hit me. It has to be the Bermuda Triangle. The Mother of all magnetic fields. If you grew up in the 60's, you'll know what I'm talking about.

The Bermuda Triangle is having a profound effect on my husband's behaviour. This is serious shit, people.

Sex Ed

2009-05-19T20:00:00.000-07:00

We have new neighbors, a lovely couple and their 4 year old daughter Emma. Like most children, Emma is going through a childhood rite of passage - begging her parents for a pet. This basically means that our pugs Tex and Maggie are her current obsession.

This weekend Emma joined Tex, Maggie and I in the garden. While I worked she played with the pugs. After a few minutes she comes up to me, looking very earnest, and says "Did you know that Tex has a penis?" After I got over the initial shock of finding out she was right, I had parent envy.

Research shows that children who discuss sex with their parents are more likely to wait longer, and make better choices. Considering that I learned about the birds and bees from the kids at school, I really wanted things to be different for Tyler. Not to mention that Tom's idea of Sex-Ed includes enjoying a glass of late-harvest Riesling, before describing in vivid detail all about storks and cabbage patches. Sort of in the same genre as Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.

Taking my cue from the experts, I used anatomically correct terms and tried to stick to the basic facts. Problem was, every time I tried to broach the subject with Tyler, it was obvious he was really embarrassed and uncomfortable - always assuring me that no, he really didn't have any questions.

Things came to a head (pardon the pun) when he was a young teenager, and I was leaving for a business trip. At that time Maggie was having female troubles, and while giving Tyler instructions on how to care for her, I referred to Maggie's vagina.

Let's just say that this really, really freaked Tyler out (not to mention Tom) - and of course our son couldn't resist pointing out that as a result of our conversation, he would most likely need years of therapy.

After years of fighting, I caved. Which means in our house we now refer to "Maggie and the Whoo" and "Tex and Mr. Happy". Sometimes you just have to go with the flow, even if it means ignoring expert advice.

Disconnect

2009-05-16T14:45:00.000-07:00

In the past few weeks, I've had two major technical glitches in my life - the delete button on my work computer got stuck and totally erased my inbox, and my blackberry went on the fritz.

Strangely enough, nobody died and the earth continued to circle the sun. Dare I say that I actually enjoyed not being so connected.

Note to self: Unless you're the president or a brain surgeon, techno breaks are a good thing.

Strange Dreams

2009-05-12T18:56:00.000-07:00

Like those before me - Pamela Lee Anderson and Paris Hilton - the man in my life recently took advantage of me, video taping moi in a compromising position. While I'm heartbroken, my Public Relations side knows it's better to come clean, before this thing goes viral on U-tube.

Please let me share a few key messages with you:

Okay, I admit there was a lost year, when for some unexplained reason I snored. But those days are behind me, I did the work and kicked the habit.
Notice that Tex doesn't move. Do the math - he's a pug and pugs snore.
Not to brag, but see how hard it is to wake me up? What can I say, it's a gift.
Pity Party moment - notice my reaction to waking up? Thing is, I'm pretty sure this the result of living with Tom and Tyler, who have a strange idea of funny. As a result I frequently wake up like this, even when on airplanes.

Sweet Dreams

2009-05-02T11:19:00.000-07:00

Last night Tom broke the barrier and was the first person in our family to have an Obama dream. In the dream Tom and Barrack are hanging out at the White House, walking Bo, ending with a wrestling match in which Obama has my poor hubby in a head lock.

I'm not surprised Tom is dreaming of the president, as we've just come back from DC, which is abuzz with hope and goodwill. It's been so long since I've been excited about a politician, it's a really good feeling.

Art

2009-04-30T20:17:00.000-07:00

DC is one of the world's great museum towns, housing the Smithsonian's eclectic collection. Tom and I got a kick out of this painting, which is on display at the National Gallery. Not sure why, but for some reason it really resonated with us. Great art reminds us that there are moments that transcend time.....such as the love of a pug and its human.

NY State of Mind

2009-04-29T19:43:00.001-07:00

I recently came back from NY and DC, one of those rare trips where the stars align and everything goes according to plan.

Things got off to a great start day one of my trip. I was upgraded to business class (without asking), our plane circled Manhattan twice before landing (I had the perfect seat to take in the view), and at the Waldorf, I hit the jackpot and was upgraded to the towers (the ultimate NY crib) - all harbingers of things to come. Here are a few of the NY highlights:

Seeing South Pacific at Lincoln Centre with my good friend Bob. Not only did we go backstage and meet the cast, but Bob's friend Loretta let us go onstage after the show was over. Loretta is starring as Bloody Mary, after being discovered by the Director in her native Hawaii. I love it when good things happen to good people. Tom is really enjoying my many renditions of "Some Enchanted Evening", and plans to send Bob a special thank you.
A behind the scenes tour of the Today Show, courtesy of Natalie Morales, who is humble, beautiful and a pleasure to work with.
A girls night out with Suzanne and Ellen, good for the soul and better than years of therapy. We went to PDT - a secret little club that can only be accessed through a telephone booth in a hot dog shop.

New York, you really are one of the world's great cities.

Art

2009-04-17T23:29:00.000-07:00

Living with a photographer can be quite daunting. For years I avoided cameras, knowing my best would never be good enough.

Funny thing about life, sometimes you have hidden talents without even knowing it. By fluke I realized that I have a knack for accidentally taking photos with my blackberry. It's actually a gift, who knew that I would capture the essence of life without even knowing it.

So from time to time I plan to share my new art form with you. Take this image for example, I like to call it "Janice looks at life and laughs in its face".

My New Mantra

2009-04-12T02:56:00.000-07:00

Simplicity.

KISS - keep it simple stupid

The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak.--Hans Hofmann

Pug Love

2009-04-05T18:23:00.000-07:00

I knew something was seriously wrong, when I came home from work and Maggie wasn't at the door waiting to greet me. Tex was there, happy pug face and wagging tail, but where was Maggie?

My heart was pounding as I went to look for baby girl, something had to be seriously wrong for her not to be front and centre, eager to tell me about her day. I found her sleeping in the living room, she seemed a little confused when I gently woke her. I tried to assure myself that everything was okay, after all, we all have days when we're a little off.

I started to get scared when we had to wake her up the next morning. You see Maggie is a keener, always the first to wake up, run to the door, jump right in. It wasn't until we used the magic word, and asked her if she wanted cheese, that we realized she was having trouble hearing. You see Maggie is something of a cheese connoisseur, and can even tell the difference between Brie, Cheddar and Blue - you say cheese, and Magster goes a little crazy.

According to the vet, Maggie may be loosing her hearing. She does have a mild ear infection, but the Dr feels it isn't severe enough to impact her ability to hear. This week we're taking her in to have her ear flushed out, but who knows if it will help.

This is really hard for both Tom and I, as we tend to live in denial, convincing ourselves the pugs aren't getting older. It's so much easier to pretend that our precious babies will always be with us.

Don't worry baby girl, we'll be your ears.

Bad, Bad Things

2009-03-31T18:54:00.001-07:00

It's been a tough couple of weeks, seems like I'm always struggling to find my groove. Today I may have bottomed out.

All of my dog walkers are on holiday and Tom has a gig in the Queen Charlotte's - which means I've been rushing home every afternoon to walk the dogs. Today was the first sunny day in a week - so I decided that we'd take a longer walk and soak up some Vitamin D.

One hour later, I realize I had walked around Granville Island with the back of my skirt tucked into my tights. Which explains why all of those people were smiling at me. I thought the smile said "cute pugs" instead of "you poor idiot, your ass is hanging out".

The real burn is I stopped and chatted with neighbors along the way, gave our handy man hell for not fixing my door, bent over several times to scope poop.

Life, you do have a way of humbling me.

Blast Off

2009-03-30T20:32:00.000-07:00

This morning started with a bang.......literally.

While making breakfast, I had a "Houston we have a problem" moment - resulting in my white kitchen cabinets and ceiling being covered in green smoothie. Oh well, at least this time both pugs managed to survive the ordeal relatively unscathed.

So, start your day with a bang with Mika's favorite green smoothie:

Frozen low fat vanilla yogurt

banana (when bananas start to get too ripe, peel, wrap in foil, freeze - good as a frozen snack or in smoothies)

matcha tea powder

ground salba (south American grain, rich in Omega 3)

1 hand full of almonds

low fat milk

3 -4 ice cubes

honey or dark chocolate chips optional

Throw ingredients in blender and blend. Don't be afraid to experiment - and for god's sake, do not, under any circumstances, forget to put the lid on the blender.

Busted

2009-03-29T02:10:00.000-07:00

This evening I was startled by a knock on my door. Imagine my horror at finding a group of neighbors, there to inform me that my lights were shining during earth hour. A polite way of saying "get with it sister".

I'm a hippy at heart - Tom even goes so far as to call me "Mother Nature in the making" -which makes what I am about to tell you all the more embarrassing. You see I knew it was earth hour, but made an executive decision to ignore it, as I really wanted to watch the telly. What can I say, I have a thing for British Mysteries.

How did it come to this? Used to be Saturday meant a night on the town, for the past few years it's been more about comfort food and really bad TV. Even my family and friends have a hard time understanding how I can spend hours watching slow paced, British dramas. Hell, at the rate I'm going it's just a matter of time before the Queen and I are one.

I tried to rationalize the earth hour dilemma by convincing myself it would be okay to keep the home fires burning, as long as I turned them off at some point. Like maybe 3 am, which works better with Tyler's time zone anyway. Yea, that's the ticket.

You'd think being confronted by the neighbors would have been a "come to Jesus moment". Instead, I found myself hiding in the woman cave, curtains drawn, hoping nobody saw the luminous glare of the TV.

One side note: Having the lights out did prove one thing, unlike cats, pugs do not have an innate ability to see in the dark.

Moments of Grace

2009-03-22T22:05:00.000-07:00

It’s been a crazy week - too much work and too many politics......... exhausting.

In-spite of feeling like a hamster, running like mad on my little wheel, three beautiful moments stand out. Reminders of all that is important in life.

Words of Wisdom

While confessing to gal pal Darlene that I’ve never had a life plan - comparing my journey to floating down a river, always going with the flow, but never really steering- she assures me that knowing what you don’t want, is just as important as knowing what you do. Thank god, at least I’ve got that covered.

The Beauty of Youth

Seeing two rough looking teens helping an elderly woman who’s taken a tumble off a curb. In spite of being at an age that most of us remember as being awkward, their calming voices and gentle manner seemed so full of grace. Maybe the next generation will be more aware and mindful then we’ve been.

Birds of a Feather

Coming upon a wet pigeon while walking down the street, poor little dude was all feathers and attitude, with such a small fragile body. Now that I think about it, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a wet bird before, and wonder what they do when it rains? He was hanging out with his posse / flock, who all seemed to be dry, which made the whole thing seem all the more mysterious. How truly amazing life is, a reminder that even the life of a pigeon is a wondrous thing.

Mac Happy

2009-03-19T21:18:00.000-07:00

This week I took a big step, going from PC to Mac user. Not only do I love my new computer, aka Mac Daddy, but I kinda feel like a high school geek who has suddenly been allowed to hang with the cool kids.

Tom is supportive, but also pointed out that I've been a Mac-pain in the Mac-ass since getting it.

I personally think this will be one of those life changing moments, and wouldn't be surprised if this is the start of really big things. Who knows, now that I have the Mac maybe I'll write the great Canadian Novel, produce award winning movies about the struggles of urban pugs, eat mac and cheese everyday without gaining weight, or even become a talking head / mac expert.

Trust me people, this is going to be big.

The Things We Do

2009-03-16T20:19:00.000-07:00

This week I was surprised to find out that my friend Carol is taking her daughter to Disneyland. You have to know Carol to truly appreciate how BIG this is. Like Halley’s Comet – this is something that most human beings won’t likely to see in their lifetime.

You see, Carol usually goes to exotic locales like Provence or Tuscany. Disneyland or Vegas? – well, not so much.

But that’s the thing about having a young child - most of us find ourselves doing things we never imagined.

Such as:

Tom, who dressed up like big bird and strapped on a pair of roller skates for Tyler’s 4th birthday party.

Cindy who spent the entire night in a Toy’s R Us parking lot, going elbow to elbow with hundreds of other desperate parents, determined to get her daughter a Wii for Christmas. (She was successful).

Heather, who shares her life with her step-daughter and a life size stuffed pony named Butterscotch.

Chris, who builds P-kitty a tent every morning before he heads off to work.

My brother David, a manly man from West Texas, who knows all the words to “The Wheels on the Bus” and “Baby Beluga”.

All of the fathers who let their daughters paint their toenails (you know who I’m talking about).

Not to mention the fact that I’ve been to Hell and back making sure Santa was able to deliver Ninja Turtle Action figures on Christmas morning.

Before you have a child, you imagine a perfect world. A place with no sugar or junk food, where everything comes from an organic garden. A world that isn’t commercial, and families manage to make meaningful Christmas and Birthday gifts out of wonderful little things found in their backyard. A place where boys don’t play with toy guns or soldiers. A world without TV, one where we are never too tired to read and sing happy songs to our children.

The truth is - reality is far more interesting than the dream.

Dog House

2009-03-03T23:32:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I'm not a photo shop wizard. Without naming names, there's a certain someone who just happens to be in the dog house with the Ryan women.

Today he took Maggie to the vet and subjected her to all sorts of indignities (and yes, pugs do hold the odd grudge) - and topped that off by hiding all of the diet cokes.

Hell hath no fury........

Roomates Wanted

2009-03-02T21:35:00.001-08:00

I’m not a huge fan of reality television, but lately I’ve been following a show called “The Week the Women Left”. The premise of the show goes something like this; you take a small town in Canada – send all the woman on a luxurious holiday for a week – leave the men in charge of the kids, house, pets, work, etc – and of course total mayhem ensues.

Truth is, when I’m out of town Tom runs a tight ship - and Tex and Maggie are well loved and cared for, other than being subjected to hours and hours of CNN and cable Sports channels.

What I find most interesting about this particular reality show, however - is how the women of Tatamagouche, Halifax react to a week of freedom.

Even though I adore my family, there are times when my downstairs "woman cave" just isn’t enough. The show got me thinking, maybe I’m not the only woman who needs an occasional break. What if a group of us like-minded girls got together and split the rent on a downtown loft or apartment? Think of it as the ultimate chick pad.

All I really need is a few days every month. Just some time to catch up on my sleep and recharge my batteries. It wouldn’t have to be big or swanky, just a refuge for the weary.

In case anyone reading this would like to join me, I’ve taken a stab at listing our requirements:

Kitchen is not essential, the closest thing to cooking will be ordering take out and heating it up in the microwave.
Fridge is a must - cold champagne, selection of cheeses and chocolate dipped strawberries should always be close at hand.
Emphasis on a beautiful bed with soft, comfortable and clean linens.
BABT (big ass bath tub)
Rather than a well stocked pantry, lots and lots of beauty products – or even better, close proximity to a spa.
DVD’s of chick flicks, good books, and a big stack of fashion magazines.
No phone, Internet, or access to blackberry
Maid service provided daily
And most important of all.........a lava lamp and clap-on fireplace

What do you think, ladies. Are there any takers out there?

Yes We Can

2009-03-01T10:20:00.000-08:00

The List

2009-02-24T20:46:00.001-08:00

Have you noticed that the latest trend on Facebook involves creating lists? They usually consist of things you’ve done or hope to do, i.e. your bucket list, places you want to visit, 25 things nobody knows about you, books you have read, etc., etc., etc.

All of this list making has me thinking - sometimes the things you refuse to do can say as much about you as the things you embrace.

Without further ado, here’s my List of Things That Mika is Never Going to Do.

1. Go on a group tour/vacation (my idea of hell)
2. Own a mini-van
3. Vote Republican
4. Go for a “cleanse”. (I may be the only person in BC who hasn’t been on one -even Tom claims he does it on a weekly basis!)
5. Buy a gun
6. Read books that are written by either Danielle Steel or Ann Coulter
7. Wear Uggs
8. Become a member of The Kiss Army
9. Eat meat
10. Give up diet coke, Mexican food or chocolate (hell no!)
11. Not have a dog in my life
12. Whistle, ride a unicycle or walk on stilts (three things I’ve always wanted to do, but just can’t master)
13. Sing in tune (but I’m not going to let that stop me)
14. Take up any form of organized religion
15. Stop buying shoes (sorry honey!)
16. Take my family or friends for granted
17. Stop swearing (sometimes, it just feels so damn good)
18. Join the Celine Dion fan club
19. Wear a bikini in public (those days are long gone)
20. Buy an RV and spend my holidays camping in a Wal-Mart parking lot
21. Stop picking up pennies found on the street and making a wish
22. Telling little lies (Of course that dress doesn’t make you look fat!)
23. Appear on Girls Gone Wild (at least not willingly)
24. Watch WWF, Dog the Bounty Hunter, or Fox news
25. Allow anyone to bully me (No! I will not respond to “Who’s your Daddy” when held in a head lock)

Warning:
Before making your own list of “No, Not Me”, you should know that this comes with significant risk. There have been many times in life when I have found myself doing the very things I said I would never do. You are seriously tempting fate, so proceed with caution.

Romance

2009-02-22T22:38:00.000-08:00

Tonight I came home from a business dinner to find Tom making chocolate chip cookies. Not only does he make the best cookies - but he makes them with nuts. Tom doesn't really like nuts, but he does it for me, as he knows I dig them.

Now that's romance folks.

Mo Money, Mo Money, Mo Money

2009-02-19T19:54:00.000-08:00

Like many people across North America, our little family is trying to be more mindful of the money we spend. Our goal is to buy only that which is essential, and with any luck pay off all of our debts this year.

Like many couples, Tom and I have very different approaches in how we manage money. In other words, I buy things and Tom lectures me about the evils of spending money. This is painful to admit, but the truth is I’m the consumer in the family………or so I thought.

As part of our New World Order (shout out to CF), Tom is taking on more responsibility shopping for our day-to-day needs. It was actually his idea, the rational being he’s such a paragon of strength that he wouldn’t be tempted to spend frivolously.

Since taking over, he’s learned one of the most important rules of shopping – it is impossible to go into Costco without dropping serious dough. Last two times he’s been there he’s spent a couple of hundred bucks – coming home dazed and confused – uttering “I don’t get it, where did all the money go?”

If this keeps up I’m going to have to lay down the law, and put him on a budget.

Sweet Dreams

2009-02-19T13:52:00.000-08:00

Fear

2009-02-18T12:46:00.000-08:00

Not to sound paranoid, but have you ever had the feeling that you’re being followed? Last week when Tex, Mags and I were on our afternoon walk, we couldn’t help but notice the strange young woman lurking in the bushes. It took me a little while to figure out that it was shadow girl, waiting for the pugs and I to move down the street so she could make a mad dash for her house.

Shadow girl and her family moved into our neighbourhood about the same time we adopted the pugs. It soon became painfully obvious that they were not your average family. Don’t get me wrong, I am fully aware that the idea of the functional family is an urban myth - after all, we all have our little quirks and idiosyncrasies – let’s just say that Shadow Girl and her family took strange to a whole new level.

For starters they seemed to be afraid of everything, including all animals, boy scouts, shadows, weather and clowns. To put it into perspective, they came into our lives when Tex and Maggie were tiny little puppies – and even though the pugs weighed under 2 pounds each – Shadow Girl's family approached them as if they were man eating lions.

At first we felt really sad for them, and to quote Coldplay, felt it was our duty to Fix them. This meant no sudden movements, always talking in a calm, soft voice, and lots of positive verbal encouragement “it’s okay, when he wags his tail it means he likes you.”

After awhile it became apparent that we were fighting a losing battle, this wasn’t a little family that wanted to be fixed. Time passed, and they just sort of disappeared into their house. The only indication that anyone even lived there was the odd light on in the middle of the night.

So it came as something of a shock to see Shadow Girl, after all it had been years since there had been a sighting. My first reaction was anger – shadow girl was now a young woman – still obviously paralyzed by fear at a time when she should be flirting, driving fast and taking chances. All of this fear seemed like such a waste of youth, the beauty of life.

The whole thing got me thinking about life, and how we’re often responsible for creating the obstacles that keep us from reaching our full potential. While it’s true that my fears are not as obvious as Shadow Girl's, are they any less debilitating? Why do I worry about things that are out of my control, and create unnecessary anxiety?

Thank you Shadow Girl for reminding me that life is messy, full of highs and lows. Sometimes you just have to jump in with both eyes open, confident that what ever life brings, you’ll get through it.

Break a Leg

2009-02-14T10:37:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I went under the knife, and while I realize it would be a far more interesting story if I told you I had my boobs or nose done, that’s just not the way I roll.

For those of you who read my humble little blog, you’ll remember that I had my right knee operated on last October. It was so successful, and my knee felt so good, that I decided to get my left knee fixed.

My doctor, who performed both operations, is by all accounts a brilliant surgeon –this is a good thing considering he has the bed side manner of House.

During our very first consultation, we had a little disagreement over his recommended course of treatment. While waiting for surgery, he suggested I take some time off work, and rest my swollen knee. When I tried to explain to him that staying home was not a 2010 option, he asked me if I was a Nuclear Physicist. I answered no, wondering where his line of questioning was going. His response was to point out that I was 'only' in Public Relations - and not exactly saving the world.

Suffice to say, things were off to a rocky start - but my first knee surgery was a big success - so we both decided to fix my left (worse) knee.

This second go-around, I was suprised at how quickly he scheduled my knee surgery. My friend Carol pointed out that my surgery was scheduled for Friday the 13th , a day when many people like to lay low and avoid doing anything crazy. Fortunately, I’m not that superstitious, so I decided to just go with it.

The second surprise came when I arrived at the hospital and was going through the admitting process - the paperwork said I was there to get my right knee done. I calmly explained that I had already had the right knee fixed, and it felt perfectly fine. I told them again that I was actually there for the left knee (in the back of mind I kept thinking of those weird news accounts of some poor smuck going in for a tonsillectomy and coming out with a vasectomy). Not to worry, after much back and forth, right knee - left knee conversation, we sorted it all out and I was feeling pretty good about the whole thing.

Then, before I even finished the paperwork, a couple of nurses rushed in and ordered the admin staff to get me processed….STAT!

Seems the two patients who were scheduled to have surgery before me no showed, which meant the surgeons were moving me up - and wanted me in the operating room as soon as possible. Chaos ensued as a team of medics quickly (too quickly perhaps?) prep'd me for the big event.

Is it just me or does anyone else find it strange that two people no showed? Seriously, what are the odds? Did they sleep in….have a family emergency….or at the last minute, look at the calendar and realize it was Friday the 13th?!

To make a long story short, I’m on the operating table - and moments before the anaesthesia kicks in - I hear the head nurse say “Okay people - let's prep the right knee for surgery”.

I think I managed to shout out “Nooooooo.......LEFT kneeeeee!” before the lights went out.

Cry Baby Cry

2009-02-02T19:58:00.001-08:00

I’m starting to think there is something seriously wrong with me. Is it possible that I’m a hardass? – and even worse, that I’m the last person to know? – sort of like those people who go on American Idol and actually think they can sing?

I really didn’t clue into the fact that there might be a problem until British Columbia won the right to host the 2010 Winter Olympics. One of the great things about the Olympics are the video vignettes, short stories that capture the beauty of the host nation, it’s people, and most of all the athletes who overcome incredible odds to finally realize their life long dreams.

While I find these videos inspiring, I’m not moved to tears the way many of my colleagues are. It doesn’t matter how many times they’ve seen the same video, there are always tears. In fact, there have been a few instances when people who have not even seen the video cried like a baby - just from hearing someone describe it! (C and J, you know who I’m talking about).

At first I thought all of this 2010 crying was just a girl thing, and I tried to comfort myself by rationalizing that maybe I’ve been living with men for so long that they’ve started to rub off on me (sorry Maggie, but you’re not exactly a delicate flower). Unfortunately, that rationale only worked for a short period of time, as I have now seen many men from our office also get choked up when watching a certain segment featuring the torch relay.

I’ve done some serious soul searching and have come to the conclusion that I’m just not a crier. To make it even worse, the few times I do cry are almost always dog related - in other words, show me a little pug struggling to carry the Olympic flame up a steep hill, against the wind, and I’m a goner.

Truth is, I’m okay with the fact that I am not a crier.

You see, I make up for it by laughing. I laugh at jokes (including my own), I laugh while sharing war stories, I laugh when someone falls down and hurts themselves, I laugh at weddings, I laugh during funerals – and when all else fails, I keep laughing.

If the Shoe Fits

2009-02-01T18:14:00.000-08:00

I recently bought Stuff White People Like, a book that both Tom and I are really enjoying. According to my calculations, my good friend Janice just might be the whitest person I know. Not to worry J, I’m right up there with you. It’s amazing how many of these hilarious stereotypes have my name written all over them.

For example, white people really like buying kitchen gadgets. You name it I have it – over the years I have bought a bread maker, rice cooker, pasta maker, food processor, waffle iron, blender, pizza cutter, potato ricer, sushi mat, etc, etc – just recently I came home with a Panini press.

Like it or not, for the past week Tom and the pugs have been forced to eat, breath and sleep Panini’s. I’ve made fried egg panini’s, a fancy version of beans and toast on a panini, Mediterranean panini’s, classic grilled cheese panini’s, and in honour of Elvis I even made a peanut butter and banana panini (thank you, thank you very much). My current obsession is trying to create the perfect caprisi panini.

Trust me folks, if it can be slapped between two slices of bread - I’m willing to try it. In other words, your favourite panini recipes are most welcome.

Good Times

2009-01-27T19:00:00.000-08:00

My cousin Tyra recently sent me some old photo's via facebook, which bring back memories of good times. Let's start with a little photo I like to refer to as "Our Gang". The two adorable little boys are my brothers David and Jody, along with me and my cousins (Tyra is the cutie on the right with the pixie).

As you can see from the first photo my hair is naturally straight. Here I am at 20, a time in life when it really was "all about me". This is a good example of how easy it is to lose perspective. It was Dallas in the 80's, and my big focus in life was achieving maximum volume with the hair. At that time it wasn't unusual to see me shaking my fist at the sky, shouting "why me God, when will I ever have Big Hair!" Tyra and Peaches are my trusty companions.

Tom, Mika and Tyler - a time when I had Brook Shield eyebrows and Tom went everywhere dressed like a professional golfer.

Tyra and Mika trying to determine if blondes really do have more fun.

Pug Rehab

2009-01-23T20:42:00.000-08:00

History 101

2009-01-21T13:44:00.000-08:00

Have I mentioned that I adore the Obama’s? Barack, Michele and those darling little girls give me hope that we may have actually turned a corner. Even though it’s important for us to move forward, I also think we have to learn from history, least it repeat itself. In a strange way there’s a part of me that wonders if Bush was a necessary evil. Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you are able to move forward and evolve.

It can happen to you
We must never take our way of life for granted, after all who ever thought that hanging chads, Guantanamo and the Patriot Act would become part of our daily lexicon.

Do the Right Thing
That old saying “there is nothing to fear, but fear itself” sums up the Bush years. Dubya used fear to appeal to the lowest common denominator and as a result held the world hostage for eight years. We must have the courage to rise above fear in order to make good, sound decisions.

Can’t we all just get along?
Does anyone else find it ironic that a man who surrounded himself with Cheney, Rumsfeld and Rove had the nerve to refer to others as the “axis of evil”? Bush’s lack of diplomacy and refusal to work with allies’ undermined America’s reputation and power. The reality is the world has changed; no one can afford to go it alone.

Show me the money
Clinton left office with a surplus of just over $236 Billion – Bush leaves office with a deficit of over $10 trillion - and who says that men don’t like to spend money?

Times of War
War is not always the solution and should only be used as a last resort. Even if there had been weapons of mass destruction, it would have been ill advised to go into Iraq with guns blazing. In reality, the Middle East is a very complicated place, of which Bush did not have a good understanding. Not to mention that our brand of democracy isn’t necessarily the solution. As a result of the war in Iraq we have lost countless innocent lives, created the mother of all jihads, produced instability in an already troubled part of the world, and ignored countries that might actually be a real threat to our well being.

The American Dream
We keep hearing that Barack represents the American dream; the real miracle is the fact that Bush ever became president. While it is true that both Clinton and Obama came from humble backgrounds, they were also exceptional scholars, with a history of success in their chosen careers. Bush on the other hand, had a poor academic record and left a string of failed business ventures in his path. Shouldn’t we aspire to have the best and brightest as our world leaders?

Who’s the Man?
The days of middle aged white man ruling the world are coming to an end. Truth is most of our families look more like Obama’s, a mix of nationalities, races, religions, and sexual orientation. I look at some of the people in my world – Josie, Brielle, Christopher and Maturos – and see the beautiful faces of the future. We need leaders that represent more than just the Christian right, and are able to recognize that diversity is one of the building stones of life.

Strong Like Ox

2009-01-20T13:31:00.000-08:00

My good friend Jill recently sent me a beautiful Asian calendar – as I admired it I had an epiphany – oh my god, it’s the year of the ox, how in the world do I break the news to Tom!

You see in our house this is big news, Tyler, Tex, Maggie and I were all born in the year of the ox. According to the info Jill sent ox are genuine, hard working, trusting, responsible and fearless, which Tom points out is just a polite way of saying stubborn.

To make it even worse, Tom is a ram. According to ancient Chinese wisdom, rams are strongly advised to never live with ox………..seriously…….under no circumstance should ram ever cohabitate with ox.

Sure, I admit that one side of me really feels bad for Tom – but there’s another side that says Paaaaartay!

Passings

2009-01-04T22:39:00.000-08:00

It's been a sad month, a time of loss for many of our family and friends. This poem is for our sweet neighbor Lila, who passed away last week - for my step sister Debbie, who lost her young son in a car accident - for Kristen who lost dear Yukon - for Dawn who is missing her darling Maggie - for our son Tyler, who was supposed to be celebrating New Years at a club in Bangkok and decided not to go at the last minute, narrowly missing a fire that took over 50 young souls, including several of his friends.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow, I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain, I am the gentle autumn's rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush, I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry, I am not there, I did not die...
- Anonymous

Mika's Wish List

2009-01-03T20:27:00.000-08:00

Ever notice how January is the worst possible time of the year to hit the gym? It’s way too full of flabby, sweaty people who’ve made New Year Resolutions to finally get in shape. Trust me, break out your old leotards and Jane Fonda tapes, as it will be a few weeks before people loose their resolve at the gym, and things return to normal.

I speak from experience, as it’s taken me over 40 years to realize that unless you're willing to make a total life change, New Year resolutions don’t work. For the past few years I’ve tried a new approach, instead of making a list of tactics that come with a self imposed expiration date, I try to focus on where my state of mind should be.

Mika’s wishes for the New Year:

Optimum Health
Sure, I’d like to be 20 pounds lighter, but instead of going on a diet / exercise binge, my real focus should be working towards optimum health. This means eating things that are good for my body, while also understanding the occasional splurge is good for the soul.
It means that if I am too busy to work out, I’m not taking good care of myself and need to find a way to better manage my time. It means that by putting on the oxygen mask first, I am better able to take care of my family and friends.

Things of Substance
Considering that I only know how to play the clarinet, maybe it’s time to stop dreaming of being a rock star or winning the lottery. Instead, let me strive for things that will really impact my life – let me cultivate wisdom, love, patience, compassion, kindness and humour.

Relationships
Don’t ever let me forget that the only person I can control is me. When I have conflict with others, I need work on myself, asking what can I do to make the situation better.
Instead of focusing on other peoples faults, I will try to be a better wife, mother, friend, employee, leader, colleague, person who cares about the planet.

Being Present
Don’t let me be so focused on the future, that I forget to show up for life. I want to wake up everyday and love the hell out of my family and friends, without fear or trepidation.

Maggy May

2008-12-29T11:43:00.000-08:00

Today we woke up to the sad, sad news that our dear friend Dawn lost her beautiful girl Maggy. Everyone in our family loved Maggy, she was one of those rare, pure souls that charmed everyone she met. Not to mention that Tex had a huge crush on her. Every time she came to our house Tex would stand on his back legs and get right in her face, nose touching nose. Maggy tolerated his adoration, but the poor guy was way out of his league and didn't have a chance in hell.

In honour of Maggy I have gone into the Ryan archives and retrieved a post Tom wrote about a road trip back east with Dawn and Maggy a few years ago. Here's to you Maggy- Dawn's forever dog - we are better for having known your sweet, gentle spirit:

Maggy and Dawn's Adventure

So, I'm firmly ensconced on the couch, it's still a full week until Christmas, and I'm just now beginning to get on my wife's nerves, when she says "How would you like to travel from Vancouver to Ontario, with two ladies - a Blonde and a Redhead - all expenses paid?"
My right eyebrow rises, just a little....."I'm listening."
"So here's the deal" she says....."Dawn and her dog Maggy are moving to Oshawa but Dawn doesn't want to put Maggy on a plane or train 'cause Maggy might get upset and besides it's a great opportunity to do a favour for a friend and regain your lost karma and find your soul somewhere along the way and besides you love to travel and she's rented a mini-van for her, the dog and you and I already told her that you would love to do it and besides it would only be four or five days at the most and you'll be back in lot's of time to see the Seahawks play the Chargers."
Then she gives me that "Sami" look.
"We'll travel by Interstate 90" I say.

Day One:

Dawn pulls up (6 hours late) in a jam packed van - with Maggy, her beautiful Golden Retriever. It's raining heavily. It's also really difficult to get Maggy to lie down on the comfy bed we made for her. Seems she is prone to car sickness, and so she places her head between the two front seats so she can look out the front window. Maggy is a drooler. We manage to hit Seattle in the pouring rain, at the peak of rush hour. We overnight in Spokane at the 'dog friendly' Best Western.

Day Two:
We drive some more. Maggy is standing at attention, drooling. My right elbow is sopping wet. Drove past the Little Bighorn Battlefield - in the dark. Described to Dawn (perhaps in too much detail) Custer's huge error in judgement by taking one road trip too many. By evening, Maggy is still standing, and she is panting like a steam locomotive, and the van is beginning to smell just a little 'doggy' - if you know what I mean. Overnight at Sheridan Wyoming - enough said.

Day Three:
Maggy and Dawn sleep in, again. Big argument about what exactly the term 'wheels up at 8.00 am' means. Finally on the road by 9.25 am....in a light snow - there's an overturned U-Haul up ahead. This van really stinks. There's a snow storm heading our way from Colorado. I'm getting a nasty rash on my right elbow - and more than slightly annoyed at Dawn's girly driving CD's, none of which include Led Zepelin or Supertramp. Doesn't this woman eat anywhere else but McDonalds??? After getting directions from several late-night liquor stores in Council Bluffs - Iowa - we find our 'dog friendly' hotel and I collapse into my room, a scant 25 yards from the busiest all night truck stop the other side of the Missouri. Highlight of the day was passing Wall Drug, viewing Devils Tower from 20 miles away - and two Strategic Air Command Bases. Still no sign of renewed karma - or my lost soul.

Day Four:
We drive across Iowa - past several birthplaces or grave sites or whatever of US Presidents. Dawn and I seem to be laughing an awful lot today, and Maggy is still standing, but also comfortably resting her head on my wet elbow. A strong wind is at our back, and the countryside is actually quite pretty when you look at it travelling 80 mph or so. Even the storm clouds are clearing. Crossed the Mississippi River today, and Dawn's CD's weren't really so bad once you got past the whole K.D. Lang thang. And I may have caught a glimpse of my lost soul in a corn field, just past the Tri State Tollway - but still no sign of any karma (good karma anyway). Passed South Bend in the dark, and made Windsor Ontario by 9.00 pm. Back in Canada - but a bittersweet moment really - the trip is almost over. Maggy collapses in her hotel room.

Day Five:
We all sleep in. It's actually quite nice to sleep in sometimes. Hit the 401 Eastbound in the late morning, visited two Tim Horton's in one hour, and after passing about 25 RCMP cars enroute - arrive in Oshawa. We are HOME!!! Maggy, (still standing) jumps out of the van, and both her and Dawn get lots of welcome hugs and kisses from their relieved family. Maggy immediately falls asleep on their very comfy carpet. What a nice family. Perhaps Ontarians aren't that bad after all.....but then again, these guys are from Oshawa - not Toronto.

Day Six:
Christmas Eve - Toronto International Airport. Checking in at the Air Canada counter, I'm informed the flight is overbooked, and that I will have to ask at the gate as to whether I'll even get on the Christmas Eve flight home. So much for improved karma.
Then, at the very last minute, the gate attendant smiles at me and says "Looks like today is your lucky day" and hands me a Business Class boarding pass - window seat 5A.
Flying home at 36,000 feet over America, I can't help but think that maybe things are looking up. Somehow the Seahawks / Chargers game doesn't seem quite as important.......and I catch myself wondering how Dawn and Maggy are doing on this beautiful day.

Grooving

2008-12-22T20:16:00.000-08:00

For the past few years Tom and I have been working very hard at taking Christmas back. As a result we no longer buy presents, skip decking the halls, and finally broke the news to Tyler and the pugs that Santa lives only in the heart.

I realize that this will probably sound very bah humbug to most of you, but for us it’s made all the difference in the world. No more malls and credit card bills - no more trying to sneak out late at night with a dead Christmas tree, when it’s mid January and you’re too embarrassed to do the walk of shame in front of your neighbours – not to mention that it’s very difficult for pugs to understand why it’s okay to pee on trees when they’re outside, but not so cool when they’re in your living room.

Christmas is the joy of being home with each other, going for a midnight walk on the Winter Solstice, sleeping in after staying up late watching old movies, simple or elaborate meals that we cook for each other, taking time to reflect on our many blessings.

It also means I can finally listen to one of my favourite albums, A Charlie Brown Christmas, without anyone shutting me down. When we decided to re-invent Christmas, I had a brilliant idea – why listen to music you love only at Christmas, when you can enjoy it the other 11 months of the year? Unfortunately it was a little more difficult to sell my family on this idea, so I spend most of the year in the closet, only finding my groove when wearing head phones. For one brief and glorious month I can crank the stereo and let her rip, dance and play air cello, fully celebrating the season.

Flowers for my honey

2008-12-21T21:13:00.000-08:00

Here you go honey, just a little 'thank-you' for painting the kitchen over your Christmas holidays - while I drank beer and watched football.

Love,

Tom

PS: Go Cowboys !!!

Pillow Talk

2008-12-12T00:02:00.000-08:00

Researchers say that the top five things couples argue about are money, work, sex, children, and housework. It goes something like this “Maybe if you’d get off your lazy ass and help with the house, I’d actually be in the mood. Honestly, it’s like having another kid….not to mention that I work too! You have no idea what it takes to run this family, in fact, you couldn’t afford to pay someone for what I do.”

We have a totally different script at our house. Our biggest argument has always been about pillows. You heard me……pillows.

I’m a simple person, I’ve been sleeping on the same two pillows for years (sorry Oprah, I realize that you think it’s important to replace your pillows annually, but why mess with perfection?) Tom on the other hand has been on an endless search for the perfect pillow.

We currently have 10 pillows on our bed, the two that I sleep on, and the remaining 8 are Tom’s. Have you every tried sleeping with someone who needs eight pillows? Not to mention that it isn’t uncommon for us to lose a pug in the midst of all of the feathers, foam and synthetic fibers.

In spite of all of the money Tom spends on his quest for pillow nirvana, he always ends up trying to scam me out of my two trusty companions. Sometimes I come to bed and find that he’s replaced them with a couple of imposter's, hoping I don’t notice. Other times, he's more blatant, and after a great deal of tossing and turning, he rips one out from under my head and hangs on for dear life.

Like most wives, I feel it's my duty to be his psycho therapist, helping him get to the heart of the matter. If pushed, he’ll blame his pillow issues on his health, secretly hoping to play on my sympathy. This can range from a crooked spine, an old rugby injury, or a sunburn he got in Mexico during the 80’s which he’s sure has resulted in bone cancer. I personally think it’s the result of being the youngest of four boys, which means that during his formative years, it was every man for himself.

It is my hope that someday Tom will finally realize that the pillow does not make the man - that you cannot really love yourself, until you learn to love your pillow - that even if all of your neighbors take their pillows and throw them off a cliff, it doesn't mean you have to follow - that sometimes the right pillow has been there all along, you just have to open your eyes and see it.