Like most West Coast cities, Vancouver takes its yoga very seriously. I’m a big fan of yoga, and like what it does for my body and soul. But lately, I’ve noticed a disturbing new trend - I like to refer to it as YGB (Yoga Gone Bad). Here are a few examples:
DOGA – A yoga class designed for people and their dogs . There is no way in hell I could ever get the pugs to perform a “downward facing dog” on command. I’m happy if I can get them to sit.
Laugh Yoga – my friend Carla recently went to this class, along with seven of her best friends. As far as she could tell there was very little yoga involved, unless you count the times when they were asked to run around the room, arms flailing. The instructor took them through a series of laughing exercises, and also commanded them to speak gibberish. Carla did end up laughing - at the absurdity of the situation.
I can sympathize with her, as I’ve also been traumatized by yoga. Last year I shelled out $300 dollars to attend a class that was going to be taught by a visiting Yoga celebrity. She was from Hollywood and apparently instructs big name stars such as Cindy Crawford and Madonna.
Most of the people in attendance had white turbans on their heads, and seemed to being using faux white fur in place of yoga mats. This was my first clue that something was wrong, seriously wrong.
The woman started by lecturing on the various chakras for an hour. I tried to keep an open mind, not to mention that I was determined to get my money’s worth.
The first exercise required us to scurry across the floor like wild animals. The room was packed full of people, so it ended up being more like a bumper car ride. Next, we experienced a rebirthing. This meant I had to assume a fetal position and violently shake my head up and down - while the Yogi shouted “faster, faster!”.
At this point I had to make an executive decision. I could either stay and risk whip lash, or leave and accept the fact that I had been scammed. I chose the latter.
DOGA – A yoga class designed for people and their dogs . There is no way in hell I could ever get the pugs to perform a “downward facing dog” on command. I’m happy if I can get them to sit.
Laugh Yoga – my friend Carla recently went to this class, along with seven of her best friends. As far as she could tell there was very little yoga involved, unless you count the times when they were asked to run around the room, arms flailing. The instructor took them through a series of laughing exercises, and also commanded them to speak gibberish. Carla did end up laughing - at the absurdity of the situation.
I can sympathize with her, as I’ve also been traumatized by yoga. Last year I shelled out $300 dollars to attend a class that was going to be taught by a visiting Yoga celebrity. She was from Hollywood and apparently instructs big name stars such as Cindy Crawford and Madonna.
Most of the people in attendance had white turbans on their heads, and seemed to being using faux white fur in place of yoga mats. This was my first clue that something was wrong, seriously wrong.
The woman started by lecturing on the various chakras for an hour. I tried to keep an open mind, not to mention that I was determined to get my money’s worth.
The first exercise required us to scurry across the floor like wild animals. The room was packed full of people, so it ended up being more like a bumper car ride. Next, we experienced a rebirthing. This meant I had to assume a fetal position and violently shake my head up and down - while the Yogi shouted “faster, faster!”.
At this point I had to make an executive decision. I could either stay and risk whip lash, or leave and accept the fact that I had been scammed. I chose the latter.
1 comment:
OMG I remember this! You almost got me to come too! I'll never forget your call after you left the class, nor will I not laugh every time I remember this description. Too funny. :)
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