Coming Home

A Tale of Two Pugs

Today is a very important day, Tex and Maggie’s 13th birthday. Tom said it best when he informed both pugs that at this point in their lives, they can have any damn thing they want.

If you're a dog person you’ll understand that they’re the heart and soul of our family. Here are a few things about the pugs you should know:

• Tex was the runt of the litter - when told he was a throw-away dog we immediately knew he was meant to be our boy.
• A famous pet psychic once said that Tex was a lion in a previous life.
• If I had a daughter I would want her to be just like Maggie - a free spirit, strong, independent, determined, generous, in touch with her feminine side.
• Tex has always been a wise old soul, aka the Dali Pug.
• Maggie’s faced turned white at a very early age, we like to think of her as the Spirit Pug of False Creek.
• Maggie is a kisser and has been know to jump up and French kiss unsuspecting strangers who stop to pet her.
• When the pugs were babies they meet a West Highland Terrier that nipped Maggie - from that day forward Tex and Maggie hate all Westies and insist they're the “real” axis of evil.
• Tex went through a few dark years when we referred to him as the incredible humping machine and friends called our house the Love Shack.
• Both pugs refuse to do tricks and have perfected the “you talking to me” look when encourage to roll over, shake hands or play dead. Safe to say they will never be circus dogs.
• Tex is fixated on things that fly and has given us a new appreciation for birds.
• Both pugs once slept through an earthquake - so much for the idea that animals predict natural disasters.
• Tyler’s buddies used to come over to walk the dogs, who they refer to as the Babe Magnets.
• Both pugs get very upset when seeing animals on TV and bluff charge the screen.
• They howl like coyotes.
• Have always slept with us - when we have family and friends staying with us it isn’t unusual for them to wake up next to a snoring pug.
• We woke up one Christmas to find that Tex had opened all of the presents during the night.
• They love pancakes, frozen yogurt and always get a few McDonald's fries after visiting the vets office.
• Maggie loves snow and thinks she is Nanook of the North - Tex hates it.
• Maggie is the easiest pug to give medicine to / Tex is by far the most difficult.

Letter to Tiger

Dear Tiger,

Writing this letter is surreal, something I never thought I would do. I woke up this morning looking for news of the Copenhagen Climate Summit and was dismayed to find all of the major networks doing a non-stop Tiger marathon. I had an epiphany - the real story is less about you and more about our need for dirty laundry.

Perhaps it’s easier to focus on fallen celebrities as it allows us to avoid thinking about the real issues of our day - war, climate change, and the fact that we are living in an era that Scientist now refer to as the “sixth mass extinction”.

Tiger, I have no idea what your life is like and truth is I’m not even a golf fan - but considering everything we’ve put you through, I feel it is only right to offer a few words of advice.

You’ve spent your life learning how to be a great golfer, this is your chance to look inside and become a great man. None of us are without sin, the real test of character is how we choose to deal with these defining moments.

One doesn’t have to be a psychiatrist to see that you’re looking for something. Truth is your beautiful wife, kids and numerous girlfriends will never be enough to fill that void - it can only come from within. Learn to be alone and at peace with yourself and you will be a better husband and father.

all the best,

Mika