We have new neighbors, a lovely couple and their 4 year old daughter Emma. Like most children, Emma is going through a childhood rite of passage - begging her parents for a pet. This basically means that our pugs Tex and Maggie are her current obsession.
This weekend Emma joined Tex, Maggie and I in the garden. While I worked she played with the pugs. After a few minutes she comes up to me, looking very earnest, and says "Did you know that Tex has a penis?" After I got over the initial shock of finding out she was right, I had parent envy.
Research shows that children who discuss sex with their parents are more likely to wait longer, and make better choices. Considering that I learned about the birds and bees from the kids at school, I really wanted things to be different for Tyler. Not to mention that Tom's idea of Sex-Ed includes enjoying a glass of late-harvest Riesling, before describing in vivid detail all about storks and cabbage patches. Sort of in the same genre as Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.
Taking my cue from the experts, I used anatomically correct terms and tried to stick to the basic facts. Problem was, every time I tried to broach the subject with Tyler, it was obvious he was really embarrassed and uncomfortable - always assuring me that no, he really didn't have any questions.
Things came to a head (pardon the pun) when he was a young teenager, and I was leaving for a business trip. At that time Maggie was having female troubles, and while giving Tyler instructions on how to care for her, I referred to Maggie's vagina.
Let's just say that this really, really freaked Tyler out (not to mention Tom) - and of course our son couldn't resist pointing out that as a result of our conversation, he would most likely need years of therapy.
After years of fighting, I caved. Which means in our house we now refer to "Maggie and the Whoo" and "Tex and Mr. Happy". Sometimes you just have to go with the flow, even if it means ignoring expert advice.
2 comments:
When Aidan was 3 he asked me where my "wienah" was so I explained that I didn't have a wienah but a vagina. Two days later, as I was reading him a bedtime story, he proclaimed with confidence, "Mama, boys have wienahs and girls have chinas; right?" Funny thing was, our neighbors down the street have a pug named "China" which Aidan is just appauled that they would name her. We still call "it" China...it just sounds better...don't you think?
Funny story. A mom, tucking her young daughter in one night noticed that her daughter was wearing underwear under her nightgown. She told her daughter she could take them off at night while she sleeps. "Why?" the little girl asked. "Well, just to give your vagina a chance to breath a bit"
In the other room, dad was tucking in the younger son who looked at his dad in awe and whispered. " They breathe?"
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