This afternoon, I hit bottom.
Rock bottom.
Tom could sense something was wrong as I quietly headed out the door, under the pretense of doing a few “errands”. He even went so far as to say “Honey, you’re not having an affair, are you?”
The truth is - and this is painful to admit - I just needed to sneak away and have a Diet Coke. Badly!
I’m taking a few weeks off work, and rather than relax in some boring tropical paradise - I decided to stay home and tackle my to-do list. It’s a long list, and includes: paint the bedroom, renovate the kitchen, lose 20 pounds, learn the basics of the Romance languages, reread Proust, and most important - kick my Diet Coke habit.
To help me reach some of my goals, I’ve been going to the gym all week and working out with a personal trainer. Mike is a big, strong man from Eastern Europe, and he trains many of the professional athletes and celebrities who call Vancouver home. He’s a wonderful guy, but by the time we reached day five of my workout program Mike’s accent wasn’t sounding quite so sexy.
During today’s session I had an epiphany. There are people in this world who actually get paid to kick ass. Legally. I’d bet the farm that these so called “personal trainers” are people who never need therapy, walking around all day with a big smile on their face.
I don’t want to point fingers or anything, but it’s actually Mike’s fault that I needed to sneak out for that diet coke. When you’re in as much pain as I am, it’s easy to throw yourself a pity party. And what does every great party have? Diet Coke, of course.
Rock bottom.
Tom could sense something was wrong as I quietly headed out the door, under the pretense of doing a few “errands”. He even went so far as to say “Honey, you’re not having an affair, are you?”
The truth is - and this is painful to admit - I just needed to sneak away and have a Diet Coke. Badly!
I’m taking a few weeks off work, and rather than relax in some boring tropical paradise - I decided to stay home and tackle my to-do list. It’s a long list, and includes: paint the bedroom, renovate the kitchen, lose 20 pounds, learn the basics of the Romance languages, reread Proust, and most important - kick my Diet Coke habit.
To help me reach some of my goals, I’ve been going to the gym all week and working out with a personal trainer. Mike is a big, strong man from Eastern Europe, and he trains many of the professional athletes and celebrities who call Vancouver home. He’s a wonderful guy, but by the time we reached day five of my workout program Mike’s accent wasn’t sounding quite so sexy.
During today’s session I had an epiphany. There are people in this world who actually get paid to kick ass. Legally. I’d bet the farm that these so called “personal trainers” are people who never need therapy, walking around all day with a big smile on their face.
I don’t want to point fingers or anything, but it’s actually Mike’s fault that I needed to sneak out for that diet coke. When you’re in as much pain as I am, it’s easy to throw yourself a pity party. And what does every great party have? Diet Coke, of course.
6 comments:
Try this- Never never never say you'll never have diet coke again, ...yet. Start with one/day for a week or maybe more. Pick your time of day when you'll be able to savour and enjoy it. It can be a different time each day but you MUST have the whole diet coke, savour it and enjoy it, then say " until tomorrow my love" and nothing more until your next meeting . Then , one every two days for the next two weeks. Same thing with the every two day ritual...pick your time that you will most enjoy it, sit down, drink it then say " see ya in two days my love".
Then....every three days, then every 4 days, then once a week etc etc. Pretty soon you'll forget to sit down for that diet coke and the affair is over!!
Mika,
Remember that you can use Chris as a support group. As far as I know, he has been Coke-free for several days. But, then again, he has been running a lot of "errands" lately.
Josie
This message is from Mika's supportive husband, Tom.
Ladies, thank you for your kind words and support through this troubling time in the Ryan household. I'm doing my very best guiding Mika through this difficult time, but to be honest, this past week has been a living hell.
Just the other night, I thought I'd distract her by taking her out to see a 'chick flick' (The Bourne Ultimatum).
In the theatre, just as the lights dimmed, Mika held my hand, and offered to run out to the foyer and buy us some treats. After a while she stumbled back into her seat with a bag of licorice and a quart sized diet-coke,which she happily slurped throughout the movie's many chase scenes.
You see, Mika knew that I couldn't make a scene in such a public place.
Sadly, I came to the realization that she didn't go see The Bourne Ultimatum to spend some special alone time with me, but rather....to knock back a quart of diet coke in the lonely darkness of the Paramount Theatre.
I'll continue offering her my full support, but I must admit (just between us) it's been, well, it's been very difficult for me.
Whoops - I have to run now, I think she's at the door.
Tom
Do you need an intervention?
You drink that diet coke sis!! And keep eating the Mexican food!!
It's a known scientific fact that Diet Coke drunk while consuming Mexican Food (and a margarita) turns into a powerful antioxidant that protects DNA and makes cells resistant to change....uh...well, okay, maybe after several margaritas. So, just drink margaritas!!! Problem solved! :)
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