Break a Leg

Yesterday I went under the knife, and while I realize it would be a far more interesting story if I told you I had my boobs or nose done, that’s just not the way I roll.

For those of you who read my humble little blog, you’ll remember that I had my right knee operated on last October. It was so successful, and my knee felt so good, that I decided to get my left knee fixed.

My doctor, who performed both operations, is by all accounts a brilliant surgeon –this is a good thing considering he has the bed side manner of House.

During our very first consultation, we had a little disagreement over his recommended course of treatment. While waiting for surgery, he suggested I take some time off work, and rest my swollen knee. When I tried to explain to him that staying home was not a 2010 option, he asked me if I was a Nuclear Physicist. I answered no, wondering where his line of questioning was going. His response was to point out that I was 'only' in Public Relations - and not exactly saving the world.

Suffice to say, things were off to a rocky start - but my first knee surgery was a big success - so we both decided to fix my left (worse) knee.

This second go-around, I was suprised at how quickly he scheduled my knee surgery. My friend Carol pointed out that my surgery was scheduled for Friday the 13th , a day when many people like to lay low and avoid doing anything crazy. Fortunately, I’m not that superstitious, so I decided to just go with it.

The second surprise came when I arrived at the hospital and was going through the admitting process - the paperwork said I was there to get my right knee done. I calmly explained that I had already had the right knee fixed, and it felt perfectly fine. I told them again that I was actually there for the left knee (in the back of mind I kept thinking of those weird news accounts of some poor smuck going in for a tonsillectomy and coming out with a vasectomy). Not to worry, after much back and forth, right knee - left knee conversation, we sorted it all out and I was feeling pretty good about the whole thing.

Then, before I even finished the paperwork, a couple of nurses rushed in and ordered the admin staff to get me processed….STAT!

Seems the two patients who were scheduled to have surgery before me no showed, which meant the surgeons were moving me up - and wanted me in the operating room as soon as possible. Chaos ensued as a team of medics quickly (too quickly perhaps?) prep'd me for the big event.

Is it just me or does anyone else find it strange that two people no showed? Seriously, what are the odds? Did they sleep in….have a family emergency….or at the last minute, look at the calendar and realize it was Friday the 13th?!

To make a long story short, I’m on the operating table - and moments before the anaesthesia kicks in - I hear the head nurse say “Okay people - let's prep the right knee for surgery”.

I think I managed to shout out “Nooooooo.......LEFT kneeeeee!” before the lights went out.