Fear

Not to sound paranoid, but have you ever had the feeling that you’re being followed? Last week when Tex, Mags and I were on our afternoon walk, we couldn’t help but notice the strange young woman lurking in the bushes. It took me a little while to figure out that it was shadow girl, waiting for the pugs and I to move down the street so she could make a mad dash for her house.

Shadow girl and her family moved into our neighbourhood about the same time we adopted the pugs. It soon became painfully obvious that they were not your average family. Don’t get me wrong, I am fully aware that the idea of the functional family is an urban myth - after all, we all have our little quirks and idiosyncrasies – let’s just say that Shadow Girl and her family took strange to a whole new level.

For starters they seemed to be afraid of everything, including all animals, boy scouts, shadows, weather and clowns. To put it into perspective, they came into our lives when Tex and Maggie were tiny little puppies – and even though the pugs weighed under 2 pounds each – Shadow Girl's family approached them as if they were man eating lions.

At first we felt really sad for them, and to quote Coldplay, felt it was our duty to Fix them. This meant no sudden movements, always talking in a calm, soft voice, and lots of positive verbal encouragement “it’s okay, when he wags his tail it means he likes you.”

After awhile it became apparent that we were fighting a losing battle, this wasn’t a little family that wanted to be fixed. Time passed, and they just sort of disappeared into their house. The only indication that anyone even lived there was the odd light on in the middle of the night.

So it came as something of a shock to see Shadow Girl, after all it had been years since there had been a sighting. My first reaction was anger – shadow girl was now a young woman – still obviously paralyzed by fear at a time when she should be flirting, driving fast and taking chances. All of this fear seemed like such a waste of youth, the beauty of life.

The whole thing got me thinking about life, and how we’re often responsible for creating the obstacles that keep us from reaching our full potential. While it’s true that my fears are not as obvious as Shadow Girl's, are they any less debilitating? Why do I worry about things that are out of my control, and create unnecessary anxiety?

Thank you Shadow Girl for reminding me that life is messy, full of highs and lows. Sometimes you just have to jump in with both eyes open, confident that what ever life brings, you’ll get through it.