Saturday, June 9, 2007

Girl Talk


Paris, Paris, Paris…..we need to talk girlfriend.

I admit, we haven’t always been friends – but let’s put all of that behind us. It’s become obvious that you need a little friendly advice from someone who isn’t on a PR retainer.

Let’s start with Martha Stewart - I think you could learn a few things from her. The woman deserves a little credit, she put on a brave face and made the best of her time behind bars. While there she cooked 5 course meals, on her radiator, for the other inmates - gave everyone makeovers-wrote a best seller on the history of the penal system - designed an ergonomic jail bunk – and she certainly wasn’t anybody’s bitch.

I feel your pain, and totally agree with your comment that this wasn’t your fault. I mean how were you supposed to know that it isn’t cool to drive with a suspended license. Somebody should have explained it to you.

You should also know that your timing sucks, no wonder people want to see you in a reality show called “Oz”. America’s middle class is losing ground, crime in major cities is on the rise, over 50 million of your fellow citizens have no health insurance, and there is this little thing called a “war” happening over in Iraq.

Keep your chin up, as it's only a matter of time before you land a new show. I'm guessing that Mel Gibson and Tom Cruise will be your co-stars.

1 comment:

Dil said...

Oooh and Paris, maybe your BFF's Nicole and Britt can like,join you and, like, OMG!! you could all like do each other's hair and make up sleep-over style!!! And you know how Martha made dinner on her radiator? Well, like...OMG!! maybe you could like, make Manhattan's or Cosmos on yours or something!!!! Do you get to take your puppy? Oh, I forgot, it wouldn't match your orange outfit!!!!